are you jimmy ray? who wants to know?
just another manic monday
kaata rehai mera dil. tu hi meri manzil.
round the bend.
devil wears prada
umeed par duniya qayyam hai
the moment long gone.
won't have to travel too far. cross the border and into the city.
inspector saab, kya aap waqi sanjeeda hai?
so in the middle of my studying, i take these short perfectly timed youtube 10 minute breaks. i am currently hooked on watching this classic pakistani serial called ankahi. its quite entertaining and i wanted to watch it since it has shahnaz shaikh in it. tanhaiyaan is one of my absolute favourites. She and marina khan totally rock.
so anyway, on one of those episodes, i don't understand some stuff (yea im quite unzaheen - wot to say) so i scroll down to see if people have left comments, explaining what has happened in that episode. and sure enough, there are pple who have and then there are some who leave random comments, like i love shahnaiz shaikh - (their phone number).
err...ok dude. im sure shes going to call you.
sea of change?
Date: four days ago
Time: 2:00 am
Venue: 24 hour deli at the corner of my house
Reason: craving for starbucks icecream.
at the deli
radio playing in the background - speaker with a slight desi accent.
curiosity killed me (not the cat) and i ask the chinese cashier.
me: what station are you listening to
cc (chinese cashier): bbc
me: (hesitant) ok
cc: they are talking about indian elections. i think congress will win and rahul gandhi will be PM
me:(zapped that people other than indians care and know about india elections - smilingly): we'll see what happens.
i think everyone in politics has their own agenda. some driven by money, fame, power god knows what else.
on talking about the fate of nuclear energy. dead since lack of fuel, technology and investments
rahul gandhi : i am very proud to say that our prime minister Shri Manmohan Singh ji has recognized both the problem and a potential solution.
*applause*
rahul gandhi: But it would be unfair of me not to accept that Shri Vajpayee, also saw the problem and also in his time worked on the solution
*silence*
some random guy in the background: (taali tau maro)
rahul gandhi: iskiliyei tau mar dijie
people yelling in the background, maachi market style
there maybe good individuals who want to run for office but unless you are running as an independant, its hard to actually make a difference. political parties have their own agenda. like cc, i dont doubt that one day rahul gandhi will be pm of india.
paper, paper, paper.
so last week, i went to this "debate" hosted by a news channel. there is top security in entering and leaving the building. you get badged before and after you leave. The speakers were all affiliated with some hedge funds, universities (ie professors of finance at prestigious universities) and had some book deals going on ecetra ecetra ecetra. the moderator himself was one of the channe'ls top gun.
i really thought it was going to be like the vice presidential debate. i think it was american reality tv at its best. the topic of discussion the current crisis.
it was not. it was quite dry as you would expect as any mathematicians lecture to be. a personality hazard, if i may so myself. me included. the moderator was great and tried to move it along. letting each speaker his 5 mins, ok scratch that, 15 mins of speech. and literally two of them did that, not stopping for a breather. imagine talking 15 mins nonstop, with not a single pause.
i zoned out after 5. my friend sitting next to me fell asleep and the lady sitting next ot me started filing her nails (i think she was a journalist meant to be covering the event). the only excitement in the debate was when people started asking questions. the first question was are the banks now trustworthy? do we trust the banks? followed by more evasive answering. bottom line no, but we can't say. where will everyone put their money then. second question, this was met with pin drop silence. who are hedge fund investors? for a moment all speakers were zapped. the guy asking the question takes a moment to clarify, i dont mean names, in general. basic question: were hedge funds responsible for the crisis? basic answer: god knows.
all in all an interesting debate of unanswered questions. brings me back to what i have been saying all along. no one and i mean no one knows what the hell is going on. and if you wait long enough the efficient market hypothesis will hold. and markets will move back to where they should be.
its a small crime, and i have got no excuse.
tonight while studying at the heavily medical students populated starbucks, an elderly man comes in looks around and yells:
"starbucks is an effing library" and then he leaves.
while, me and a med student on the neighboring table grin at each other.
it really is. just much better.
its a library where you can drink, eat, talk on the phone, download music, play board games and give dirty looks to people who sit around talking loudly to their group of friends while drinking coffee.
yes. we make the rules.
let me think. in my box.
kisie da kisie da yaar na pardes jaawe...saanu ek pal chain na aave, sajna tere bina
its raining, pouring really, outside and its 2 am and i have zilch food in the house only my botel of water and volumes of books to keep me company. and while i study i listen to this beautiful song by nusrat fateh ali khan who i believe was a good human being and i know this just listening to his voice. i first heard his "mustt mustt" today evening at a local starbucks of all places, that too when they were closing and luckily for me they had their tv screens playing the 'song you are listening to' so i didnt have to remember they lyrics. apparently its on sarah mclachlan's playlist too. cool, no? and seemingly all desis think alike coz at that moment another desi guy sitting in starbucks went up to ask the starbucks employees about the song. and i assume he downloaded it there and then on his phone and walked out in the rain listening to the perfect rain song.
i wonder when golu grows up what her favourite rain song will be?
and we rise and fall to only rise again
"i find dubai revolting" - some character in todays episode of 90210.
ok yes - the show isnt something to quote, and i really watch it coz im the equivalent to those who get hooked on the saans bahu serials and despite their inane storylines cant let go. anyway a year ago, dubai was the "it" place and characters in popular shows were mentioning dubai in reference to the fact that it was THE popular destination last year and the fact that being global was in. but as everything tanks and correlations are at their all time high, global is now equivalent to local. and something tells me this new found love is just temporal.
jiska koi nahin hai, wuska pi hai. i still laove you my beloved, dubai.
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”- He's just not that into you.
i first learnt about this book two years ago, when i was visiting new york during my grad school years and me and my friends were sitting in the barnes and nobles starbucks. and a friend of mine was going through a breakup and actually reading the pocketbook outloud in the coffeeshop regardless of people staring at us. the movie unlike the book doesn't answer the questions and even after reading the book you are like ok this is a whole lot of fluff.. and after you're done reading the book you're like 'come on' that's not true and isn't everyone's story unique and supposedly ''magical" in its own quirky way.
so a friend, goes through this whole 'will he-wont he' phase, where the guy agrees to go for dinner and then in the follow up dinner cancels saying he's too tired and doesn't schedule another date.
right, doesn't sound too good.
i try to be diplomatic since my friend thinks he's really shy so i say maybe he'll call later give it a week. but another friend quotes from the above movie - and point blank says seriously he's just not that into you. but then i dont know if its because of actually feeling a connection in the first meeting (i honestly think theres no such thing) or because there's this insatiable need to know - the need to know why someone would turn you down- so i dont know if its eithe rof these two that my friend texts him again- and then he texts back - and now they continue texting short notes to each other - no one taking the first step - no one willing to jump head on and just ask outright - no one does that ever- coz no one wants a bruised ego - or coz no one wants to admit that they are just not THAT into you.
in one of the therapy sessions, that only good friends will do (ie yours truly) me and my friend were sitting next to this couple, who ironically were on their first date. ok and sure we were eavesdropping, i mean there has to be some advantage that space in new york is scarce. so the guy asks the girl after an awkward pause - so umm do you like brad pitt? - soooo lame, im sorry but it is. and then at the end of the meal, the restaurant that only accepts amex denies to take his visa card and sadly he's out of cash. needless to say the date doesn't goes well.
so this is the american dating ritual. so, changing tracks, even the desi ritual is not much better. you reject people after looking at their pictures. just their pictures. everyone is guilty of that. and its ok if both of you dont like each other. its end of story. but if one does, yes albeit shallowly, it gets complicated. so rather than directly saying anything, you ignore the person and hope they get the message. brutal, yes. but is there any other way that we can weasel our way out of it?
genda phool
and just like that life comes in, and things begin to change
i became a massi, the first time ever, on 28 March 2009. My sister's actual due date. The nurse volunteered information that I gladly absorbed that only 6% of parents have their kid on their due date. So my sister and brother in law became proud parents of a beautiful little baby girl, named Zainab, all of 7.4 pounds and 20.5 inches. She is a typical arien, an extremely fiesty, a bit moody, super hygienic baby, and when she stares at you with her round eyes you its the most sweetest thing ever.
my niece shares her birthday with my eldest sister as well. And last Saturday, the day started out with me waking up and calling her the first thing in the morning to wish her. on skype, since she lives not in the US. My second sibling messages me frantically saying my sister, whose expecting, is in labor. I check my phone and its filled with missed calls, I immediately took my duffel bag stuffed with my clothes and within 10 minutes I was in a cab urging the taxi driver to go faster.
I reached the hospital about 4 hours later and my sister was having major contractions and was in tremendous amount of pain. the in charge nurse kept checking in, but all we could do was wait, and wait for the inevitable. it was the complete antithesis of what i had imagined. i imagined we would wear scrubs. the movies glam things up a lot. the delivery happens in the same room, that you are checked into. its a private room, so you dont have to bear the frustrations of someone delivering before you, but you miss out on all the interactions that only expecting mothers could share with each other. towards the end, when the pain became unbearable, we ask for the doctor. the nurses have an almost non chalant attitude twoards the doctor and all our inquiries about the doctor are met with - "he's coming hes on his way". my eldest sibling is an obgyn and as an attendee, she usually makes it to the scene at the nth moment, and is only called sometimes when things are actually going bad.and thats something which no one will tell you, the doctor will not sit around listen to you squirming in pain and perhaps thats a good thing in a way since watching someone in pain can make your job extremely difficult and perhaps interfere in your judgement. and if things are going well, the resident doctor, ie the newbie, will be magically available to perform the delivery. as expected the resident doctor is firm, polite and thankful to be allowed this opportunity. the attendee is a bit harsh, almost mechanical, impersonal, always polite but confident and borderline arrogant. and that is the only way to be. one has not confidence in those who are polite and friendly but those who look like they know what they are doing. and that does hint arrogance. the obgyn walks in at the last moment, we are a little annoyed at him, for showing up so late, but at that moment we are just so extremely terrified and with all the constant yellings and urgings to push, my feelings quickly change to gratefulness any help is good. the resident doctor delivers the baby quickly and safely, thanks to God.
i can safely say this is one of those experiences in your life that you probably will never forget. its life altering for the parents, but its also a major eye opener for someone who is there during the whole process. the first is that human body is a miraculous thing - its a gift from God, and we should appreciate it, being pregnant - being in labour is extremely difficult and no one other than the woman can understand this, post pregnancy - there is no going back your life has changed and things get much much harder - but each day is as difficult as the previous day and gradually life becomes easier. personally i didnt freak out after seeing so much blood and tissue, which i thought i would, perhaps since my parents are doctors and siblings too i didnt freak out but perhaps its a simple thing as that we are all stronger than we think we are. i dont know if having a kid, life changes for the better, since im not the person in it, but those who do have kids and have gone through it, say it definetly does and is totally worth it. i think so many pple can not be wrong.
all i wish for her and her parents is to be patient, happy and healthy.
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