Thursday, May 29, 2008

outlawed by the inlaws.

im always under the rosy impression that the saans of the saans bahu serials are characters that are beyond brain degradation,and are merely an over exaggerated anti thesis of the perfect happily ever after and simply a far from reality figment of the writer's imagination. as of now, i dont think im any where closer to agreeing or disagreeing with my "rosy impression". as opposed to the season of weddings, it is the season of inlaws. my sibling's inlaws are visiting, my pregnant and non pregnant friends and colleagues in-laws are visiting. my best friend's weekends are now filled with frequent visits to the inlaws and the inlaws visits.

so henceforth im absorbing a lot of information. in general, pple in this day and age,do get along with their inlaws. to the point where they are pretty pally with each other. and can actually bond on various things. and probably refuting the indignant expression of "why cant we just get along"

we can. and we do. as long as we know what each others boundaries are. and we stick to them. we stick well within them.

but then the day someone loses it. coz someone eventually does.since you are only human. then what happens? i might last a week, before i have some sort of massive fight with my own mom. despite whom i love very very much, i still have the right to disagree with. and if i cant be myself with my own mom, then thats just ridiculous. perhaps some pple might even say it borders on disrespect to disagree or even argue with your parents. and perhaps since im not a parent i dont understand that logic. but i do know when all said and done, and ive apologized (irrespective of whether i am wrong or right) its all forgotten. you look beyond that and despite all the frustrations and lack of getting each other - you get over it.

somehow it doesnt apply to someone else's parents. there is a thin line that one should never cross. and i mean that by in both sides. somehow things get a whole lot more personal. and sometimes its irreversible. my friend, who literally had to fight for a wedding of her own style, venue etc- may never be "forgiven". having communication problems with the prospective inlaws/inlaws may lead to pple think you are just snobby and stuck up and not simply awkwardly shy. you arent always given the benefit of doubt, where to your own parents - they understand thats just how you are. and they might not like it, but they accept it. with love.

this reminds me of a scene of my favourite cult film. dil chahta hai. there is a scene where akshay khannas mother goes something on the lines of (majorly paraphrased)

mother : tum *(corrected thanks sara) anju kei ghar nahin arei ho?
akshay khanna : nahin mein wahan bahot bore hota hoon.
mother: duniya mein bahot kam cheezein hei jidhar tum bore nahin hotei ho.

she asks him to come to the house of some relative, which bores him. And she answers with a sarcasm, which your parents would probably say, perhaps may force you to go witht hem - but after a point they do give up and they never ever hold it against you.

this isnt so applicable to your spouse's parents. things get a whole lot more personal. which leads me to the question, is it really true, that the inlaws behave differently with you, a non blood relative or is it just that you are more sensitive to your new set of parents?


Monday, May 26, 2008

Its not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves - Edmund Hillary

So this weekend was the memorial day weekend, and as much as I have tons and tons of stuff to study, I ditched that and decided to head out with a couple of friends to a mountain near the hudson river. Which apparently is voted as one of top 10 trails in US.An hour an half drive from new york. What I was prepared for was a relaxing hike up the mountain, with well etched routes and clear pathways that require nothing more than good shoes and bottled water. What I was not prepared for was a super difficult hike up, lots of rock climbing, and being on all fours while climbing the super difficult mountain, chapped hands, legs, knees, knowing that one wrong move can result in serious injury (liable to breaking my head on some heavy rocks), shivering knees, quaking inside. What I had not prepared for was also realizing that one needs only the will and one can do anything. Being put in a do or die situtation, you can and will do what it takes and will conquer your fear. What I was not prepared for was that feeling of exhiliaration and happiness mixed with feeling of dread (How the hell were we going to get down this steep thing). What I was not prepared for was the feeling of I-dont-think-I-will-do-this-for-a-while to a deep down super happy feeling of doing something that I will be proud of forever.

I belong to a life of contradictions. Heres a dekko at some of our pictures and some video from youtube.(Thanks to the youtuber) (The video is not ours)


Thursday, May 15, 2008

thats just the way it is..some things never change.

i think i now know why i absolutely love new york city. in my lunch break, me and a good friend stepped out, beautiful springish-summery day, and in front of the building next door (apparently the first skyscraper in the city) was a band playing this beautiful song by Bruce Hornsby. We just stood there transfixed, at the whole energy of the place. You have people walking on the street on their lunch break, doing their own thing, most pple in their suits (since its a very banking centric location) and right spat in the middle you have this live band playing great music. And then you have the smell of freshly made samosas, thanks to a desi cart selling packaged lunch boxes, right around the corner. Awesome. Some people, like us, standing and staring - others stepping out of the glass doors and making a direct beeline to the few rows of chairs kept in front of the band, for the convenience of the audience.

Just sooo nice. Sometimes, some thing as small as that can make your day.

Today also marks my first anniversary at work. i cant believe its been a year already. I dont think I have gained as much as knowledge as you would expect to gain (you know the kind you expect, when you are still a student and optimistically (is this a word? ) think that you can change the world singlehandedly). In fact, i really dont know how these 12 months just slipped away. And, I dont really have anything to show for it. or rather anything im super proud of. And it seems like yesterday, I wore my favourite suit to work, and was introduced to a million pple only to forget their name a minute later. But, thats the thing about time, it waits for noone, and thats just the way it is. =)


Thursday, May 08, 2008

u r a fever, u ain't born typical.

this week, i had my first "sick" day of the year. i played the get out of work card. i was really not up to going to work.and hence had to make up some mild sickness (coz I have to go back the next day). my excuse? something which had not been used and abused like food poisining and something that doesnt require proof of sickness like a cough or cold even. so i chose ear ache and a fever. but truthfully, i had lots of studying to do and most importantly was just not emotionally upto it.

after a huge fight with a sibling, of which i have learnt that two wrongs will never make a right. i just felt super sad, that I lost my temper so badly - which I rarely lose. everything is hunky dory now as it can only be with your siblings or parents after a fight. But something in me snapped and it was just chaos. and the next day at work, I didnt feel good at all.

I wonder why in places like the West, where everything is laced with a certain amount of emotion ie Don't like something, protest it. Don't like someone, tell them. Dont like the parking ticket you got, contest it vigorously. Don't like your boss, complain to them about them.

So then why can't something like I was not emotionally upto it serve as an acceptable reason to not go to work. In Japan, there is something called heart-ache leave, time off after a breakup with a partner and the more older you get the more "sick" days in the heart-ache category that you get. To take it up a notch- science (various studies and medical practitioners can back this up) says that a broken heart can lead to considerable heart damage thereby causing heart failure.

One of the reasons, I think that here in the US, such a thing is not considered because pple strongly believe that business and personal issues should not mix. and one should leave their distractions. and of course heart outside work. and one should immerse themselves completely into their work, despite all the stress you are in on the inside. coupled with the fact, that sometimes its so much easier to say you aren't well then having to explain how badly you did on a test/a fight with a parent etc.

i guess i need to start a petition for sick leave in the emotional-issues-pls-dont-ask-unless-i-tell-u category.

now for some total randomness. below is a video of my current favorite track. yes a little dark and quite weird too. i am not so much a fan of the video, but i really like the song. They are an anglo-american indie rock band called The kills.


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