i love this song so much, it speaks to me.

you owe me nothing

I'll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak outs and I'll hold it
You can share your so-called shame filled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it
You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it
You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I'll understand it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
I bet you wonder how far you have now danced you way back into debt
This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it
You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I'll empathize with
You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion and I'll hear it
You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it
(and there are no strings attached)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return
-Alanis Morisette


you can make me feel insignificant
and ill bear it
you can be oblivious to me
but i wont say anything
you can be uncaring
but thats ok, since u know ill still care
you may decide to skip me and choose over me
and ill understand it
you can choose to be moody with me - always with me
but, don't worry, ill get it
you will not budge from what you want, even if it will make me happy
but, i don't expect it
you may be insensitive to me, maybe you realize it, maybe you don't
but i wont say anything, just blog about it
since it doesn't matter
coz
you owe me nothing
i give you thanks for receiving its my privilege
and you owe me nothing in return

Read more...

top 10 ways to forget you just went on vacation.

1. log into your work email. at 4 am.
2. crib to self that its the effects of jetlag, never mind the time difference is only an hour.
3. watch your tv playlist, resume play
4. pick a fight. with anyone.
5. upload only your fat pictures.
6. unpack the first second you land home
7. look at bank statement. faint. wake up again. then faint
8. try leaving a msg for yourself at work, wishing yourself a highly productive day tommorow. get the voicemail. its full. try calling again.
9. dont ask anyone about their upcoming holiday. in fact change your status msg to i hate you all holidaygoers
10. plan your next vacation

in all earnest though, it is 4;33 am and i am unreasonably jetlagged. so i went to usvi this long weekend. heres the rating. beach person paradisometer? 9/10 scenic viewometer? 9/10 stress freeomater? 10/10... food lovers paradisometer 2/10 ( i really can and should open a restaurant there)..eyecandy ometer 1/10...i-cant-believe-this-is-part-of-the-us-ometer 9/10 (its so rundown in parts it shocks you)..i guess i could live there, if i wanted a really laidback lifestyle, really loved the beach and wanted to live in beach wear my whole life or if i just plainly wanted to laugh at tourists who will believe anything and shell out as much as 20 bucks for a burger and fries. yep, i could do that.

Read more...

Khamaka bewaja......khwaab buntha raha [Simply, for no reason... I dream]


when you know you are not in new york city
s: its really close
me: how close is close?
s: 20 minutes by car
me: 0_o


when you know you are going back to new york city
me fumbling around with my book, ipod, glasses, cellphone, basically all my gadgets leaning over to place them on an empty seat on the plane, so i can get a grip on myself.
some lady: thats my seat
some guy: yea i thought she was sitting behind
some lady giving me dirty looks
me: im so sorry just trying to sort myself out
some lady STILL giving me dirty looks


when you know you are in new york city
bus ticket seller: did i see you last week on delta terminal
some lady: yea i travel a lot
bus ticket seller: i know same faces, same faces
does anyone need any tickets?

silence

bus ticket seller: alrite then, have a great day. i love you all.

me: 0_o

Read more...

Andheron Mein Kyoon Mein Roya

you show someone
the pics of the youngest one
they share the
death of their aunt
you tell them
of their first laugh
they tell you
about the funeral
you tell them
how you wish you could fast forward
time
so you could hear
your beloved speak
they tell you
how they wish they could freeze
time
so they could
see their beloved once more

Read more...

i used to say the more tragic the better - morisette

its so easy to fall into - what if
had it been, it would be - what now
for better or for worse
i choose
what will be.

Read more...

nayan barse.

i think you and i are so alike
almost too alike
it could be a good thing
or just a really bad thing

you remind me of an onion
each layer different from the next
each layer leading to potentially
copious amount of emotion
in another onion's heart.

Read more...

your body is a wonderland

one of my favouritest things to do (when im in a good mood) is to dance in an elevator (empty of course!) with my ipod blasting the current flavour of the season. and then just when it stops at my floor or the ground floor i stop dancing and have a straight face but my eyes are still twinkling. sometimes i do that in the work elevator and only recently did i find out they have cameras installed in the elevator and im sure the security guards are probably having a good laugh. i dont care. great big of a deal :)

Read more...

remember the time

so yesterday i saw a bit of the mj memorial and like most people i thought the last part where his daughter spoke was touching and extremely sad. i dont know of any worse feeling than losing a parent. and i cannot comment too much about whether mj was a good person or not. i dont know that. and since i was always taught never to speak ill about the dead (well alive too), i will avoid the shady aspects of his life and speak about the good. was the memorial too elaborate? yes i think so. it was a media and public frenzy.

i read many articles in his tribute, but there was really only one article which made sense to me ( i dont remember where i read it sadly) . but what the author was saying basically is people are not mourning so much a celebrity (who they didnt know and after a while after all the controversies we were beginning to ignore) but instead they are mourning their passing/passed childhood.

a lot of us associate our first taste of pop music to michael jackson. when i was growing up my sisters would record his and madonnas songs directly from the radio, the era before ipods, mp3s and affordable cds. in school i vividly remember i used to sit in front of a girl who had this mj binder with all the lyrics of his song, his posters and we would all peer over it during breaks. so for many of us its a passing of time, a time that we loved and felt comforted in and just like memories where we remember only the good and we try to block out the bad. we continue do the same with the memory of mj.

Read more...

say what you need to say

for the long weekend i went to the carribean with my best friends. it was a much needed vacation. and despite all the work i had, despite my comp crashing an hour before i was leaving, despite colleagues not letting me leave, despite the fact that i was stuck in 40 mins of traffic in a part that would take me 2 mins to walk, despite the fact that i had to run across the gates to catch my plane (desi filmy style) with only 5 mins for the gates to close, despite the fact that i broke out in a gazillion zits coz of the stress only to find out that my flight was delayed, despite the fact that there were signs that it would rain the whole trip (it didnt), despite the fact that old san juan was quite a dead city and no one knows where all the tourists are gone, despite the fact that i hadnt swum in years let alone ever in the sea ( i finally did and completely enjoyed it), despite the fact that i had never ever gone kayaking, let alone in pitch darkness after sunset and when the tide is high and the scene looks right out of a scary movie like anaconda. despite the guide mentioning that 'hey there maybe little sharks in the water'. despite the fact that i got bitten ferociously (on my face!) by mosquites in the mangroves. despite all of this and more, this will probably go down as one of the best vacations of my life.

Read more...

MJ, rip.

at the chinese deli (again) , this time at a respectable time. reason of visit, severe craving of pocky chocolate dips. sort of like nutella.

anyway, the chinese grocer has become my 2 minute news byte guy. not only does he give me pertinent information about the economy in those 2 minutes, he also helps me identify whether the yellow fruit in container is mango and not peach.

cc : did you hear about michael jackson
me: no, what happened.
cc: he died today
me: what! no dont tell me when did this news come out. *i need to get a blackberry/iphone. when iphones become a free phone then i will succub and laugh at all the losers who shelled out full price*
cc: some hours ago
me: what happened?
cc: heart attack
me: where did he die in bahrain? (presuming cc knew where bahrain is)
cc: (apparently he does) no in LA
me: daym. thats sad.
cc: yea, even the rich cannot escape death
me: yea, the only certainity of life is death.

Read more...

devil wears prada

clothing sales make me happy
competing with determined women
not so much.

Read more...

all who wander, are not lost. - JRR Tolkien

so every once in a while you will read something, or hear something, or watch something or dream about something, that will truly inspire you do something. anything. and for that moment of inspiration, you think big despite all the restrictions one may have, and you tell yourself you will do it. but as the next distraction, or the drudgery of day to day life sets in, you forget about it, until the inspiration strikes again in some form or the other.

i started my guitar lessons, this week. part of the always wanted to do things. we were probably the most diverse group that can ever be. a white red haired guy, just graduated (i believe) from college, a hispanic man who aspires to be the guy who plays awesome music at the train station, an african american grandma kinds, whose cousins play awesomely and she wants to play as well. and then there was my friend, a canadian-taiwanese trader and lastly, me.

at first, my impressions were this place looks shady. and my friend pointed out most muscians are poor, and it probably wont be an upscale place for sure. but barring first impressions, it was pretty great, the teacher was good and encouraging and no matter how much my fingers wouldnt curl, she didnt lose patience, until i sort of got it right.

It is a lot of hardwork and practice and at the end of the day your finger tips do hurt, but apparently it gets better and the pain does go away. leaving you with a skill that makes you and possibly others feel a lot better.

heres a dekko at someone whose given me another dose of inspiration.

Read more...

chalti ka naam tata nano



ok, so obviously my post today is about tata's, newest car on the block. ie the tata nano. Im not particularly impressed with this moniker, its very ipodish. Ok, i know many pple will argue with this statement considering the word nano isnt really an ipod copyright.



So the good.



obviously the Rs 100,000 price. It makes me so happy that I can now afford a car. sadly only in India. but on the bright side yay, im moving up the accomplished ladder, next goal - a house. Ok honestly i think the Tata nano is on first glance a pretty compact, no frills car that does the job (ie transport you from point A to point B). It doesnt have airconditioning, it is atleast four doors (yay, probably the only requirement to be a car), its cute and has that wannabe celebrity thing going for it (celebrities occasionally like to drive cutesy cars, so im guessing the popularity of this car will hit the roof when it actually starts selling) . And I hear the construction is pretty top quality and is not something thats going to fall apart when you are driving. Then again, theres no real guarantee, I have driven supposedly "expensive brand" cars and they literally have fallen apart and no im not kidding.





The Bad



Congestion, congestion and congestion. Not to mention, pollution, pollution and pollution. Hopefully Tata would have thought of investing in ways to come up with solar energy or making this a hybrid kind of car.

I was watching a segment on NBC (i think thats what it was) about the nano. some pple called it a glorified rickshaw, others saw it as a cheap alternate to the motorbike (which is precisely what Tata says he was aiming for) and then there were others who landed with 100,000 rs hard cash and others went plastic. however, the cars actually hit the market a year later.

enough time for competition to catch up?

Read more...

udnei ko tu azaad hai - you are free to fly.

so last year was quite an eye opener for me, it was quite monumental so to say with my graduation and finally getting a job. which im thankful to God for. Thank you so much for listening to my hopes and making them come true.

This year I plan to live life to the fullest, I plan to do things which I have never done. Many a times you decide, in your head you will do so and so but you dont coz u arent motivated enough or coz you just dont have the time or the money. I decided this year i will do something creative so i have enrolled myself to a guitar school. this year i will do something healthy, so i enrolled myself to a health club. this year i will do something less selfish, so i signed up for volunteering at schools and hospitals. this year i will influence others for good things, so i convinced my mom to sign up for yoga classes. this year i will do the one thing i regret not doing as a kid, riding a bicycle. i will not only ride a bicycle but enter a bicycle tour around the city. this year i will try to do something intellectual, i will try to publish something. this year i will continue to believe in kistmet . most importantly, this year i will try to do something good in life. for myself and for others. and to give thanks be grateful for everything.

Thank you God.

Read more...

kitni baatein..


Kitni Baatein Yaad Aati Hain
Tasverein Si Ban Jaati Hain
Main Kaise Inhein Bhoolon, Dil Ko Kya Samjhaon
Kitni Baatein Kahane Ki Hain
Hothon Par Jo Sahmi Si Hain
Ek Roz Inhein Sun Lo, Kyun Aise Gumsum Ho
Kyun Poori Ho Na Paayee Daastan
Kaise Aayee Hain Aisi Dooriyan

Donon Ke Dilon Mein Sawaal Hain, Phir Bhi Hai Khamoshi
To Kaun Hai Kiska Doshi, Koi Kya Kahe
Kaisi Uljhanon Ke Ye Jaal Hain, Jin Mein Uljhe Hain Dil
Ab Hona Hai Kya Haasil, Koi Kya Kahe
Dil Ki Hai Kaisi Majbooriyan
Khoye The Kaise Raahon Ke Nishaan
Kaise Aayee Hain Aisi Dooriyan
Kitni Baatein ...Kyun Aise Gumsum Ho
Kitni Baatein...Dil Ko Kya Samjhaon

- lakshya (javed akhtar)

Read more...

A croire qu'aujourd'hui s'arreter etait exclu

(To think that today, stopping was out of question)

theres always something fun about watching wedding videos. watching pple, who are sometimes unaware that they are being caught on camera, let go and dance their heart out. with all the bollywood steps and all. oblivious to the fact that they arent the best dancers that ever were. but the sheer joy on their faces is (to quote mastercards catchphrase) priceless. this also can have adverse affects when someone is caught on camera picking their nose (thats where editing comes in). but i think more than that it even to the pple who actually watch their own wedding in polaroid form, it feels like an out of body experience. its the same i think when you watch your home videos of days gone by. its like you are watching another person, someone who you were, someone you may have been but are now not, and that time has passed, that moment is gone, and though it is something you look back at with lot of good memories, its still not where you want to be again.

you are happy to be in your present.

PS this is more to do with your home videos of your bad haircut days and not so much wedding videos. lot of pple want to go back and repeat their wedding day again with a whole lot of changes.

le contexte est plus fort que le concepte - MC Solaar.s

Read more...