Wednesday, March 25, 2009

can i facebook you?

in a city, where frankly there is no space. no space even for privacy. you get up in the morning, sans alarm, but by the sounds a. your neighbour having a shower and the geyser( i think thats what its called) making weird noises. or in the summer, birds chirping outside your fire escape. there arent that many trees in the city. and then in the traveling of trains. i recently reread a section of maximum city, where the writer meets a social activist and hes still very hopeful about mumbai since he describes the scene of the always extended hands, when the train is leaving hte platform. there are always pple that will extend their hand to get one more person on the train, despite it being cramped and sweaty. people understand your plight. here not so much, people will all cluster near the door, and will be exasperated at you, the person who is trying to push in. not always, but mostly. very rarely will someone try to hold the train doors for you. not to mention one shouldnt but still it is rare. and even when you are in the train, you can go days on days on being so physically near people but not even remembering their faces. i certainly dont remember.

maybe its not even the issue of space here, people need to be connected to one another superficially. twitter i can vouch is more so a craze in a city in new york rather than a city in utah or something. messages left for the world to know what you are upto, when most of the world really doesnt care. i happened to go to an alumni event today with my friend. i have been to a few alumni events and people who are actually good at networking immediately connect to the other person with their business card and the latest craze now is are you on facebook? you dont even need to preserve their card or pull out your phone and waste precious minutes keying in the number. all you need to connect to a person is their name. stupidly, im still holding out on facebook. i dont even remember to bring my business cards. and im terrible at small talk. i once spent an evening at a networking event talking about organizing an anti-networking club.

three days ago, i was out getting lunch and never has this ever happened in my life, but a guy stops me and compliments me and then asks if its okay to get my number. i declined and was in a bit of a shock. his reaction was like oh-ok dont worry about it and walked away. its become so casual that you can even stop pple on the street and ask them if they want to be connected to them. it amazes me. or in dubai where pple randomnly bluetooth pple in malls. i have friends who compare how many "friends" each us has on facebook. i'm not saying networking is bad or that one shouln't get to know as many people. because one should. the more pple you know the more you get to learn from them, the more you learn about life, about people's experiences. and perhaps the only thing you really need to start a conversation is your introduction, and that really is just your name.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

how about unabashadely bawling your eyes out?

i watched a pakistani serial called dorahay (cross roads ) last week. In fact, i was so hooked on to it that i watched all 14 episodes in one marathon session. its another thing that i wouldnt recommend this to anyone. since im so not cut out for pulling in all nighters anymore and definetly watching some huge heavy duty dram can totally alter your happiness. but it definetly is addictive. i think its the serial watching gene from my dad. well the good serial watching gene.

anyway the drama is pretty interesting about two mba students that come from different classes of society, the girl rich the guy not so much. the mother of the guy has already made up her mind that the guy will marry his cousin. in turn his cousin spends her whole childhood and teenage years dreaming about her marriage with the guy (her cousin). when he decides to marry his college sweetheart, things get extremely difficult with his mom. jealousy rears its ugly head, and the cousin, who happens to live next door starts creating a mess and misunderstanding. until finally the guy divorces his wife and gets married to the cousin, thanks to her conniving plan. the first wife remarries too, but this time too an abusive psycho controlling guy - she bears it since she doesnt want the stigma of another divorce. thankfully her parents find out and she gets divorced again. the first husband realizes how he screwed up his life and hers and is still in love with her so he ends up leaving the cousin and getting back with his first wife.

the story is so unbelievably real, the dialogues even better. it shows how unbeliveably capable each of us are in absolutely screwing up our lives. each of us can pick out something from this serial. i cried a lot while watching it. there are hardly any light moments in it. and there are many lessons to be learnt from this drama. one that never lose your independence, never trust anyone on face value, there is no such thing as the perfect guy, never ever let anyone treat you like you dont deserve respect, dont tolerate abuse in any fashion, always know what you are getting into - whether a job, a relationship, a marriage - always. never do harm to anyone coz it will come back and bite you in the ass. trust your gut feeling.

one of my favourite scenes is when she breaks down and tell the guy - that she doesnt care who came in the middle, he should have known better. i think that summarizes many reasons why a lot of relationships dont owrk. it never is about the third person, its always about the two pple in it. and the two pple should know better, should be able to say whatever and should be rock solid. it never really is like what you read in books.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

jugni chahdi ac car. jugni rehndi sheeshe paar

things have started to spiral more and more out of control. you hear about your friend of friends getting laid off. you then hear of friends getting laid off. and then you hear about street food cart vendors who make in a good year 100 bucks or so a day, now making just 50 bucks. you watch advertisements on tv telling you how others are saving up. your landlord calls you to remind you about your lease. you have recession specials at lunch. you see bilboards on crowded streets on movies that have already been screened and have actually flopped. and most of all when you screw up at work, you blow off dinner plans on a friday evening and you fret and fume in nervousness throughout the weekend.

in other news, im seriously considering going to dental school now considering how easy money it is. (ok grass is always greener on the ohter side). but what irks me, is the atrocious amount of money dentists charge here. and of course i understand theres no such thing as a good deal, but seriously why are your teeth considered the step child of your body. why is dental insurance so poorly covered. hell even medical is so expensive here. its just plain wrong. what riled me up actually was when my dentist told me i should just borrow the money for cosmetic procedures ( read braces, porcelain veneers) - when i asked her for viable financial options. i repeat cosmetic procedures, not healthy precautionary procedures - that one should do. WTH. the economy is in recession, dont you watch tv - is there no kind of dental hippocrates oath, where you are not coaxing the naive scared patient into taking such financial risk. ok, maybe i exaggerate, but my point is you can't just ask your patient to take a loan. it really doesnt make sense to me. maybe its me and not them. =)

the other day i was reading a forum where some dude, (i really hope its not real), but apparently when citi shares dropped to 7 bucks, he used his citi credit card to purchase the shares thinking he would make a quick buck. we all know what happened. and now the dude refuses to pay his card company saying until your (as in citi shares) dont go back up-he will not pay. its a vicious cycle of greed everywhere from the producer to the supplier to the consumer. if you can't afford something which is a luxury just don't buy it until you can.

to end with a good note. i just read this news . This gives you hope that all is not lost.=)


Saturday, March 07, 2009

pls dont judge me, i'm only trying.

there is a mosque on the east side some 20 blocks from where i live. in fact its only in the US that i realized that women actually go to the mosque, in the Gulf its really not the norm. but mosques here in the US are quite unique. even in a metropolitan like manhattan, things are so vastly different from what they show in the little mosque at the prairie.

so anyway today, i felt like going, i was going to be reading at a bookstore in that area and was like let me go do my Isha prayers there. i don't normally go and i forget why and today it reminded me why. there were about 20 men i would say in a hugely vast space and three women in this small closet like area, with a curtain. can't see a thing. basically an enclosed space. this is not how it is in mecca. we are all equal and all of us have the same right. well anyway, as i walk in, removed my shoes and decided to take them with me. when i walk into the women's area there was, at first, just one lady and she's like take your shoes and put in the box outside. i nod and just at that moment the azaan starts. and she just lunges at me and is like put your scarf on your head. and even goes to the extent to grab my shawl. at this moment, im just in shock. and politely and firmly i say - i can do it. after i return, she asks me did you pray sunnat already? after that i just felt so conscious, and i could actually feel her eyes boring into me. every motion i did.

im sorry i dont get it. i thought only God judges me. i dont understand why can't people let others be. why do you have to balk at someone who is trying, who is trying to find some peace, why do you spoil their moment by picking up their hand during prayer and motioning to them aggressively that wearing nail polish is no good. (that didnt happen to me but someone i know). just focus on your good deeds, on being a good person - please don't try to judge someone coz someone will judge you too one day.


i heart andy mckee

my friends and i went to his amazing concert yesterday and it was just super super inspiring. i even got my camera and managed to take a few good pictures. i really wish he plays again in new york soon, i am so going to be there. and after watching his videos on youtube i felt like playing the guitar. and the thing is being so talented and gifted, he is soooo down to earth, humble and extremely funny. just an awesome awesome experience. i cannot stop gushing.

in other news, me and my classmates at guitar school may do a performance for student open mic night. perhaps this april or in july depending on how well we do.

here's his youtube video of my favorite drifting.


Sunday, March 01, 2009

it wasn't me i swear..everybody is looking for the monkey out there.

so i saw delhi 6, and whatever everyone says about the movie - i actually learnt something. (that doesnt say much about me) but apparently in 2001 there was the case of a "kala bandar" in delhi. where some "creature" was terrorizing highly populated areas. this is the best statement from an article in time magazine, published at that time. Says the secretary-general of the India Rationalist Association "People in India often find it difficult to distinguish between fantasy and reality." Who knew that there is an organization for just rationale people? =) Also, did they ever find the real monkey-man?


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