pls dont judge me, i'm only trying.


there is a mosque on the east side some 20 blocks from where i live. in fact its only in the US that i realized that women actually go to the mosque, in the Gulf its really not the norm. but mosques here in the US are quite unique. even in a metropolitan like manhattan, things are so vastly different from what they show in the little mosque at the prairie.

so anyway today, i felt like going, i was going to be reading at a bookstore in that area and was like let me go do my Isha prayers there. i don't normally go and i forget why and today it reminded me why. there were about 20 men i would say in a hugely vast space and three women in this small closet like area, with a curtain. can't see a thing. basically an enclosed space. this is not how it is in mecca. we are all equal and all of us have the same right. well anyway, as i walk in, removed my shoes and decided to take them with me. when i walk into the women's area there was, at first, just one lady and she's like take your shoes and put in the box outside. i nod and just at that moment the azaan starts. and she just lunges at me and is like put your scarf on your head. and even goes to the extent to grab my shawl. at this moment, im just in shock. and politely and firmly i say - i can do it. after i return, she asks me did you pray sunnat already? after that i just felt so conscious, and i could actually feel her eyes boring into me. every motion i did.

im sorry i dont get it. i thought only God judges me. i dont understand why can't people let others be. why do you have to balk at someone who is trying, who is trying to find some peace, why do you spoil their moment by picking up their hand during prayer and motioning to them aggressively that wearing nail polish is no good. (that didnt happen to me but someone i know). just focus on your good deeds, on being a good person - please don't try to judge someone coz someone will judge you too one day.