Sunday, March 16, 2008

yeh na ho toh, ya phir..bolo toh kya zindagi hai




i so miss my undergrad days after hearing this song. this song reminds me of my people watching weekends, sitting in bookstores/coffee shops/library spent talking with friends and majorly gossiping about our crushes. one of the best things in life, is having good friends. friendships where pple know everything about you and despite all your bad qualities still love you. and despite your ups and downs in your friendships, you still stick to each other. despite your living miles away or even a few kilometers away, despite your life's changing routes and your finding your own way and making new friends, your bond will never break. and your conversations will always be filled with your old memories, as if it happened yesterday. on how life was so much simpler then, simple things like seeing "the one" in class for ten minutes, used to make my day. and if by any chance, they actually spoke to you for just 10 minutes, and that too to explain if only about a particular homework problem, that would be your whole energy boost for the whole week.

:)

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Friday, March 14, 2008

the way i am


so this week has been a killer week ( i pretty much start all my posts saying that, hahaha.). i really do like the rush though that one gets working on short deadline projects, the feeling that one gets - once its done is uncomparable. and of course the thank yous that one gets too make you feel good within and it kind of shows on my face that im really happy when someone appreciates my work. must learn to do something about that. =)



anyway last weekend , i went to a semi rock-instrumental kind of concert, anyone reading this should totally check out break of reality. wwww.breakofreality.com. They are a band of celloists(sp) and one guy on percussions. and ever since i heard them play on the subway ive been their fan. so they were performing at baruch college, in these really quaint auditorium. yea, quaint. hardly the word used to describe an auditorium, but i liked the decor a lot. it was really quite unique. i was a bit scared to take pictures since im so chicken and scared of being told off by an usher who probably is a freshman in their undergrad. so anyway i decided its ok afterwards ill talk to the band and gush oh how im so much of a fan, and my friends were waiting for me to make the move and get a picture with them coz im succcccccch a groupie. of course i didnt. coz whenever i did make a move they were kind of busy autographing their cds or talking to bashful kids and their moms.



so i decided do not despair and to head to the after party which was this irish kind of sports bar. and so we waited and waited for them to show up. and then decided they are not coming and just as we stepped out, they showed up. so i never got to gush and say how much a fan i am and how inspiring they are. yes, sad story.



after that we went to handis, to have tea. i think they make the best desi chai in all of new york city*. (* havent really tried everything in new york city- so this is my great generalization and i do believe its true). the atmosphere isnt really that great, i mean its like a new york dhaaba, but the food is great. and even though a lot of their stuff is floating in kilos and kilos of oil, everyone seems to like it nevertheless. both desis and non desis. besides that its cheap and you dont have to wait at all to get your food, unless im in front of you and cant make a decision.



so anyway my major takeaway from that whole evening, was really the ending speech by one of the band members on how one should support the arts, music etc. i think like sports, pple dont really encourage their kids to pursue it professionaly. as a kid, i think its the trend, where parents will force you to do ballet, learn music, do paitnings, speak different languages but once you edge closer to your olevels, alevels, board exams etc. everything else becomes secondary . so you give up everything that you were supposed to learn as a kid. something which perhaps shaped your thinking today but plays no rule in your future. i suppose its because, all parents want to protect their children. and though i do see these differences, i dont think i would behave much differently from other parents. not every musician will be heard or appreciated.. theres no guarantee or "stableness" of the job. and very very few are successful.

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Saturday, March 08, 2008

hi, my name is pi and i ve got a problem.


so this week has been a super stressful week. i presented to the head of the group, who had never sat into any of the meetings that ive been presenting at. so i was a bit jittery, and especially after i got some "tips" from my colleagues, it made me even more jittery.
so for one, i did the cardinal sin of corporate presentations, i didnt number my pages. i realized like half and hour before the presentation but decided wont print again and kill another tree. these are more research oriented presentation so its more like a word document of all jargony formulas etc followed by graphs and graphs. so it was a total nightmare sifting through the pages. and the thing is ive been working onthis for a month or so, so i know it pretty well ( at least i think i do) so i dont exactly spend ages on each graph coz i think its quite self explanatory.
so anyway after the rushed presentation, my manager was like i feel bad i should have spent more time with you, and im like shit coz my manager is like the most nicest person ive ever met, and im not just saying that coz you know my some weird twist of fate he lands up on my blog. i seriously mean it. so the fact that he said that to me means i totally sucked. and coz i suffer from occasional (read a lot) mood swings, i totally was out of it for the rest of the day. and colleagues coming up and saying good job, only made me feel even more shittier coz im like why just say it, when you dont mean it. arrgh. anyway, so then after about half an hour my manager comes up to me and is like listen we have a presentation trainer coming in today do you want to meet her, and dont feel bad that im asking you now after your presentation i would have anyway asked you and you really were good and i guess you were a bit nervous..etc etc. so i almost died, but then i got off my high self pitying horse (if there is such a thing) and was like i should take this criticism postively and it is really nice of him to tell me what i need to work on, so i was like ok let me go for the class.
so i go to the class, and i dont think ive met a single presentation trainer who is not high wired and over dramatic. its basically a business acting class. and so i had a lot of issues, too soft spoken, doesnt look at pple for too long ( the only time when staring helps. hahah) eyes darting, and this is really i dont get why is this a problem, holds her pen while talking.
i dont know about others, but i have to hold a pen, a paper, a mug anything while talking in a presentation otherwise i really dot know what to do with my hands and im not talking about the click click pen thing that pple do, which is yes sooo annoying, im talking just holding on to the pen.
so then we learnt we should place our hands in front open and not closed or clamped coz that shows you arent a friendly person watever. and then you should sit at the edge of your seat, coz you know research is sooo interesting. (and yes dont make sarcastic jokes) ok thats my own addition. but the sitting on the edge of the seat really was annoying for me, she kept making me sit on the edge almost to the point i was sure i was going to fall off. and then always speak with dramaticized gestures, after having been told by my parents i shouldnt move my hands too much while i speak, i have to unlearn everything ive learnt. hahaha. so anyway that wasnt really a problem for me im very prone to moving my hands while talking so much that i can move my hand wide out and sometimes hit the other person sitting next to me (more like its their problem really haha) anyway so just when i think i can escape the inevitable, she takes out a video tape from her bag like magicians take out rabbits from their hat and is like lets videotape you. horrendous.
three things learnt: the camera does add 10 pounds extra, so ideally you should always be 10 pounds lighter than your weight. i need a haircut. and i should totally not make faces coz someone might catch them.

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