hi, my name is pi and i ve got a problem.

so this week has been a super stressful week. i presented to the head of the group, who had never sat into any of the meetings that ive been presenting at. so i was a bit jittery, and especially after i got some "tips" from my colleagues, it made me even more jittery.

so for one, i did the cardinal sin of corporate presentations, i didnt number my pages. i realized like half and hour before the presentation but decided wont print again and kill another tree. these are more research oriented presentation so its more like a word document of all jargony formulas etc followed by graphs and graphs. so it was a total nightmare sifting through the pages. and the thing is ive been working onthis for a month or so, so i know it pretty well ( at least i think i do) so i dont exactly spend ages on each graph coz i think its quite self explanatory.

so anyway after the rushed presentation, my manager was like i feel bad i should have spent more time with you, and im like shit coz my manager is like the most nicest person ive ever met, and im not just saying that coz you know my some weird twist of fate he lands up on my blog. i seriously mean it. so the fact that he said that to me means i totally sucked. and coz i suffer from occasional (read a lot) mood swings, i totally was out of it for the rest of the day. and colleagues coming up and saying good job, only made me feel even more shittier coz im like why just say it, when you dont mean it. arrgh. anyway, so then after about half an hour my manager comes up to me and is like listen we have a presentation trainer coming in today do you want to meet her, and dont feel bad that im asking you now after your presentation i would have anyway asked you and you really were good and i guess you were a bit nervous..etc etc. so i almost died, but then i got off my high self pitying horse (if there is such a thing) and was like i should take this criticism postively and it is really nice of him to tell me what i need to work on, so i was like ok let me go for the class.

so i go to the class, and i dont think ive met a single presentation trainer who is not high wired and over dramatic. its basically a business acting class. and so i had a lot of issues, too soft spoken, doesnt look at pple for too long ( the only time when staring helps. hahah) eyes darting, and this is really i dont get why is this a problem, holds her pen while talking.

i dont know about others, but i have to hold a pen, a paper, a mug anything while talking in a presentation otherwise i really dot know what to do with my hands and im not talking about the click click pen thing that pple do, which is yes sooo annoying, im talking just holding on to the pen.

so then we learnt we should place our hands in front open and not closed or clamped coz that shows you arent a friendly person watever. and then you should sit at the edge of your seat, coz you know research is sooo interesting. (and yes dont make sarcastic jokes) ok thats my own addition. but the sitting on the edge of the seat really was annoying for me, she kept making me sit on the edge almost to the point i was sure i was going to fall off. and then always speak with dramaticized gestures, after having been told by my parents i shouldnt move my hands too much while i speak, i have to unlearn everything ive learnt. hahaha. so anyway that wasnt really a problem for me im very prone to moving my hands while talking so much that i can move my hand wide out and sometimes hit the other person sitting next to me (more like its their problem really haha) anyway so just when i think i can escape the inevitable, she takes out a video tape from her bag like magicians take out rabbits from their hat and is like lets videotape you. horrendous.

three things learnt: the camera does add 10 pounds extra, so ideally you should always be 10 pounds lighter than your weight. i need a haircut. and i should totally not make faces coz someone might catch them.