Saturday, September 30, 2006


so, i have six interviews lined up. one, for which i didnt even apply. I am ever grateful, God. i had one phone interview last week and it went off pretty well. well, i alwyas think my interview goes well(over confidence, sure) but when i never get the call back or when i hear about so and so has gone off to nyc for second round. i figure, it didnt go that well after all. recently, ive been having loads of trouble concentrating. nothing to do with the fact that its ramadan time. and by 5 oclock i cant think and im cranky and am googling recipes that i probably will never cook . so anyway, in a day of my boring life the recent update is ive changed study places, which frankly hasnt helped at all. my pet peeve is when you are in a study room, pls i beg of you, pls dont turn up your radio to the maximum. yes, especially when you have the headphones on. 1. its annoying 2. you are seriously going to damage your ear drums. 3. i cant hear the song, it just sounds like static noise, and that is truly irritating. i somehow always pick the wrong places to sit, theres always someone doing hte above, or someone whos bored and wants to talk talk and talk. someone who figures nows the best time to discuss their presentation which is due, not tomm, not next week or the week after but after a gazillion days!!! pls shutup. or the guy whos eating noisy chips. ok im mean. alrite the last guy doesnt bug me that much. yea ok fine. i do that too. but neway after this episode, i walk over to the undergrad library. thinking it may be quieter. i dont know what i was thinking. i set up everything, my laptop, my charger, my jacket on the neighbouring chair and my ipod charger. removed the-cool-shoes-which-torture-feet. and then...
these bunch of undergrads start arguing in front. and thats fine. if a. its all in english b. its all in chinese but if its interserped with chinese english words with words like how can you...blah blah unethical...blah blah..blab blah.. whose going to fill in now..blah blah..
and then there was this third person calling one of them on the cell phone and she didnt want to pick it up. she didnt even silence it. i had the urge to just get up and shut the phone off. but of course i didnt. just my allymcbeal moment. im much too polite for that.
what i did was give plenty of dirty looks. did loads of "tch choo chaa".
did any of it work? Hell No.

i have now given up and have resorted to googling english translation of chinese words.


Wednesday, September 20, 2006

yei jo desh hai, swades hai tera, tujhei hai pukara...

so lately while on the pretext of taking a "break" from studying, ive been watching george ka pakistan. im not so much a fan of reality tv, of the survivors and bachelors and i dont know wat else. i just like the "sensible" ones like the apprentice. before it got all commercialized. well rather it was always, i was just too naive. well neway george ka pak is interesting, and george is endearing and sweet. as much as i like to believe the rumour that he gets married to some paki female perhaps the strong headed paki producer of Geo TV,I seriously seriously doubt the validity of that. In fact I dont think he even stayed on in pak for more than a month or so. i maybe wrong. who knows. ok spoiler alert now. theres a scene where george is in a bus and the guy next to him pays for his (george's) ticket. i guess to a person watching that youwould think oh thats really sweet of him to do that. but honestly, no one pays for anybody anymore. and the only reason i can see is coz hes a white guy, replace the white guy witha mexican dude or some chinese guy. will people react in the same way? i think not. but in this case there was a white guy, a cameraman, the possiblity to be on tv, so why not. i know im cynical. but i seriously do think that the color makes a big difference. having lived in a country all my life where pple who are white and i dont mean english,white i mean south african white even are paid higher than a desi in the same job just on the color of their skin. then again i think maybe it isnt discrimination maybe coz they are so many of us anyway so we arent the "guests" in the country and hence we dont really need that preferential treatment. had thier been many whites in pakistan just like there are desis in new york, would george have still gotten same kind of affection/help and understanding. i dont think so.

however that being said, its a good show and even though im not from pak i do think that it does makes you feel nostalgic about your home country. which i suppose was the intention of the show.


Monday, September 18, 2006

u know what. just to be sure u got that. ill say it again.

recently ive been noticing, pretty much in any bschool u will find, the majority of the people are over competitive, sometimes for no reason at all. ( ure standing in the line for the corporate presentation and believe you me there is someone thinking damnit i better get that cookie before he does) it would be sad if it werent so funny. (i have heard that somewhere!). i lack that competitive streak. i dont know what it is about me. its the 5 minute syndrome. u know when you have to go to school and your parents will be its late get up but your like 5 minutes, just 5 more minutes. i have got the best sleep in those 5 minutes. so basically my point, i lack that go getter- wake up long before your alarm goes off hell even before the 5 minutes are up. i procrastinate homework to the point that im forcing myself to get to the finishing line. and similarly i force myself to network and talk to pple who obviously know that im just angling for a job so i force myself to sound interested and passionate. its so fake that i can just throw up by the fakeness projected by my peers adn even me to a certain extent( yes im no angel).

the next of my pet peeves is the constant upmanship displayed by some peers, great u know the recruiter, great you know his family, his whole lineage. but tell it to someone else who does care. and the only conversation some pple will have with me is oh so who are you interviewing with and the extract every piece of possible information from me and then they clam up. and when i complain (which i do often) mostly to my sister shell be like "who asks yo uto be mother teresa ( which by the way is a way out of context analogy) . why do you have to tell them".

and i usually take the Monica of Friends fame answer "Shes like a conversational wizard she pulled it out of me".

moral of the story : never try to be funny when someones giving you a lecture.


Saturday, September 16, 2006

the rest is still unwritten...

I am easily confused, easily embarassed, highly sarcastic, a little sweet, mostly kind, somestimes shy, sometimes not, sometimes impatient and sometimes just plain annoying.
I said that I would know when it happens. i still hope i will.
I want to find the super job that i love and that will make me millions and then i can buy my family everything.
I wish I was the smartest kid in the world.
I miss thursday evening dinners and movies, eating till we would explode, waiting for everyone to gather in my parents room and then finally we'd start the movie.
I hear rain outside my window.
I wonder how my life would be had things been different had choices been different. irrespective of better or worse, I wonder.
I dance rarely, or rather when no one is looking
I sing all the time, walking to school, walking to work, in the bathroom, while cooking, sometimes in my sleep(just kidding..hah)
I cry when life is unfair and cruel. sometimes on others lives too.
I am never eating sushi ever gain. bah.
I write when im bored or when im having creative outbursts like now or just want to remember stuff i did.
I confuse friends birthdays. a lot. i will prob call u one day and wish u when its not ure birthday. hell, its the thought that counts.
I need everyone i love to be happy always. actually everyone should be happy always.
I never eat with my mouth open. everyone should adopt this. pls
I should write a screenplay for karan johar.
I finish books i like in one go


Monday, September 11, 2006

of the pieces of me..

what do you call the point where you have so much and i mean like stay up ten nights in a row kind of work but you dont give a shit. you just dont care. i think its called apathy of the most serious scale ive ever felt. i have a million ppple to call back and a zillion other things i have to finish but i m not half way through even..


Saturday, September 09, 2006

Where's the true in truth

I just saw 15 park Ave, and it has to be one of the most touching movies ive seen after a long long long time. i think more so coz it touches on all of what i have felt over these months, since the beginning of the year. the yearning for something i want, but don't really know why i want it, just the fact thatt i want it. and the conscious realization that,what infact i want, i cant get, and the conscious reassurance that what i want is not good enough. Our imagination, the world we create in occasions, in our dreams, in a pensive moment, or just when we wake up or just when we are about to sleep. the only difference is a schizophrenic lives in it always and can't consciously pull themself out of it. like we can.

in this movie the protagonist actually goes out and never gives up and finally finds what shes looking for. i actually have the urge to ask aparna sen what did she make of the ending. What was her interpretation to it.


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