Sunday, April 05, 2009

and just like that life comes in, and things begin to change

i became a massi, the first time ever, on 28 March 2009. My sister's actual due date. The nurse volunteered information that I gladly absorbed that only 6% of parents have their kid on their due date. So my sister and brother in law became proud parents of a beautiful little baby girl, named Zainab, all of 7.4 pounds and 20.5 inches. She is a typical arien, an extremely fiesty, a bit moody, super hygienic baby, and when she stares at you with her round eyes you its the most sweetest thing ever.

my niece shares her birthday with my eldest sister as well. And last Saturday, the day started out with me waking up and calling her the first thing in the morning to wish her. on skype, since she lives not in the US. My second sibling messages me frantically saying my sister, whose expecting, is in labor. I check my phone and its filled with missed calls, I immediately took my duffel bag stuffed with my clothes and within 10 minutes I was in a cab urging the taxi driver to go faster.

I reached the hospital about 4 hours later and my sister was having major contractions and was in tremendous amount of pain. the in charge nurse kept checking in, but all we could do was wait, and wait for the inevitable. it was the complete antithesis of what i had imagined. i imagined we would wear scrubs. the movies glam things up a lot. the delivery happens in the same room, that you are checked into. its a private room, so you dont have to bear the frustrations of someone delivering before you, but you miss out on all the interactions that only expecting mothers could share with each other. towards the end, when the pain became unbearable, we ask for the doctor. the nurses have an almost non chalant attitude twoards the doctor and all our inquiries about the doctor are met with - "he's coming hes on his way". my eldest sibling is an obgyn and as an attendee, she usually makes it to the scene at the nth moment, and is only called sometimes when things are actually going bad.and thats something which no one will tell you, the doctor will not sit around listen to you squirming in pain and perhaps thats a good thing in a way since watching someone in pain can make your job extremely difficult and perhaps interfere in your judgement. and if things are going well, the resident doctor, ie the newbie, will be magically available to perform the delivery. as expected the resident doctor is firm, polite and thankful to be allowed this opportunity. the attendee is a bit harsh, almost mechanical, impersonal, always polite but confident and borderline arrogant. and that is the only way to be. one has not confidence in those who are polite and friendly but those who look like they know what they are doing. and that does hint arrogance. the obgyn walks in at the last moment, we are a little annoyed at him, for showing up so late, but at that moment we are just so extremely terrified and with all the constant yellings and urgings to push, my feelings quickly change to gratefulness any help is good. the resident doctor delivers the baby quickly and safely, thanks to God.

i can safely say this is one of those experiences in your life that you probably will never forget. its life altering for the parents, but its also a major eye opener for someone who is there during the whole process. the first is that human body is a miraculous thing - its a gift from God, and we should appreciate it, being pregnant - being in labour is extremely difficult and no one other than the woman can understand this, post pregnancy - there is no going back your life has changed and things get much much harder - but each day is as difficult as the previous day and gradually life becomes easier. personally i didnt freak out after seeing so much blood and tissue, which i thought i would, perhaps since my parents are doctors and siblings too i didnt freak out but perhaps its a simple thing as that we are all stronger than we think we are. i dont know if having a kid, life changes for the better, since im not the person in it, but those who do have kids and have gone through it, say it definetly does and is totally worth it. i think so many pple can not be wrong.

all i wish for her and her parents is to be patient, happy and healthy.


Ace 8:30 PM  

Congrats on being a massi.

Ace 8:36 PM  

And yes ,even though Zainab will not understand the significance of this for a long long time, I wish her all the joy in the world

life of pi 8:33 PM  

thanks ashraf for all your good wishes.

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