Saturday, July 25, 2009

Teja: Main kyar Chindi Chor dikhta hoon ? Ye Firauti ke paise hain ki maiyat ka Chanda ??

so for some reason today people in new york have been approaching me for cash. yep, just like that. coming up to me and asking me. apparently im giving off a "vibe".

wrong vibe, though.

i tend to never carry cash with me, since like my dad i cant seem to hold on to it, it invariably it gets spent - mostly on others and even if a regular bum asks me for cash i still help even though people say you shouldnt encourage it - i figure they probably need more help.

so carrying cash is a bad idea since you have to remember what you spent it on. so i just place the middle man in and use plastic. (yep, probably the only useful invention of the financial industry) well some may argue actually its the biggest sin, but whatever, its good for people like me who are disorganized, bad at accounting and avoid opening their mailbox since its all bills. [yes a very bad habit]

so anyway heres what happened to me. i had gone to help a friend move into a new appartment. while i am supervising the movers, an ismail darbar look alike approaches me. in fact i was actually staring at him initially since i was like is it him or not. i figured not since he was wearing those nike backpacks made of cloth. i really doubt ismail darbar would do that. but i wasnt staring him down or anything its not like i am a fan of devdas music, in fact i detest that movie and the music too. so it was pretty random. so heres how the conversation went.

ismail darbar lookalike (thereafter referred to as idl): hello, excuse me miss, do you speak hindi?
me: err, yes i do. *thinking he probably wants directions*
idl: are you punjabi?
me: err
idl: are you marathi? gujurati?
me: kyun, kya baat hai?
idl: ji, mein jotish hoon - mein aapko bata na chahta hoo yei aglei teen meinei aap kei liyei bahot mushkil hogei - mein aapko aur bata sakta hoon.
me: im sorry, mein in cheezon mein vishvwas nahin karti hoon.
idl: aap karei na karei but aapko mein bata sakta hoon
me: *thinking - that makes no sense whatsoever"
idl: acha choryei hum log india mein mandir bana reh hai, aur chanda ikatha kar rahei hai. gareeb bachon kei liyei ashram khol rahei hai
me: *thinking - yea right* sorry kuch bhi paisei nahin hai
idl: ji, kuch toh hoga aap ke paas
me: *what the hell dude*
idl: insaan ko dil se dena chahiyei..blah blah [its all a blur what he said keywords dil insaan chanda]
me: seriously mera paas kuch nahiyei
*he still wouldnt budge so i proceeded to show him my wallet where i had a few dimes and i think a dirham or something not even US money.*
idl: aap paper money dei saktei hai
me: huh? err like monopoloy? [ ok i didnt say that i just thought it]. i guess he meant write a cheque.
so i said "aap yei lei saktei hai" [yei being the chillers]
idl pockets the chillers and walks away.

i am speechless.

two hours later:

random guy with golden teeth: *something in spanish*
me: huh?
rgwgt: you spanish?
me: umm no sorry
rgwgt: speak english?
me: yea
rgwgt: i am from puerto rico - i need 11 bucks to take my train to *somewhere.*.
me: sorry i absolutely have no money
rgwgt: looks at me like im the biggest karka ever and walks away.


me 1:29 AM  

hahahaha. do u hav some money?i need tp pay my schools fees!lol!

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