Monday, August 13, 2007

oh how quiet..quiet the world can be..when its just You and little me.

so todays training was about the soft skills that we bring to work. we started off with a personality test based on the four personalities DISC behavior model. so basically, you fall into one or two of the following categories: D (Dominant) I (influence) S (steadiness) C (Conscientiousness). I ended up being a combination of S and C, mainly the perfectionists who are easygoing but have a tough time selling their ideas. the ones who avoid conflicts at all costs.

anyone who knows me will know im far far from the perfectionist. but i do believe some parts are true. im easygoing and will do everything possible to avoid a conflict. the reason is simple. i really dont know how to react. often when im angry i prefer to hang up rather than continue fighting or just leave the room rather than having a showdown and say harsh words. i do say them sometimes . but i just dont like it. and also im really bad at arguing, i tend to forget. i dont forget that im angry. i realize i am still angry and am still quite flushed and upset but i forget why im justified in being angry and i cant explain to the other and it becomes a losing battle and the point i wanted to make is lost. and then like most S personalities we wont really show our feelings to everyone just those who we are close to. and sometimes we brood on it and sometimes we dont. sometimes we realize its best to forget. and sometimes we hope that we can run. and hide.

and i really cant change this personality trait of mine. some pple think we are being "too nice" or in worse terms its equated to "ass-licking". which i really think is a bit unfair or a label.

i think its just really strange that when sometimes you ahve to deal with Dominant personalities. its considered perfectly ok for the dominating personalities to throw their weight around or be rude, abrupt and impatient. its considered ok coz thats "just the way they are"

and that strikes me as really odd. when did being civil to everyone and saying something critical in a nicer way became a bad thing? when did diplomacy become a negative word? when did not hurting pples feelings became a sucking up thing to do and saying it like it is the brave thing to do.

the more i go through these workshops, the more i find that in order to be successful and progress at their firm, its not enough to do an excellent job and be passionate about your work, you have to fill the stereotype that is perceived of "great leaders"


Ashraf's Pen 9:42 AM  

Being nice is good and a survey reveals that 65% of employee dissatisfaction is caused by abusive bosses.

The problem is sometimes it becomes necessary to use be bad to get work done. Can the nice person do it?????? Because once we start avoiding conflicts , we at times bend backwards to avoid 'UGLY' situations.

A lesson that I have learnt thehard way is that in positions of leadership, one cannot avoid conflicts. Its good to be civil as long as things are going fine but when a disagreement arises and if u beleive u r right,a leader has to simply stand up and challenge the opposition to throw everything they can throw at him/her.

Because many times the world assumes civility to be a weakness.

Its upto us to show it aint by being uncivil when the time demands

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