Thursday, January 21, 2010

koye tau rokei...koye tau tokei..is umr mein ab... kahogei dokei...darr lagta hai ishq karnei mein bhi..

so, i havent blogged in a while. and many a times, ill think of something and be like i have to blog this but i forget. so anyway, i cant remember what im supposed to blog about, so ill blog about three idiots. i saw it with h last weekend. my verdict would be a 6/10. which is good. but not super good, considering the hype and the ridiculous amount of money its made.

so the good,i dont think i have seen an intelligent, coherent, non annoying, non wannabee, college campus hindi movie in a long time. in fact, i dont think i have ever seen one. so this movie really raises the bar in that front. so the actors, firstly madhavan, who i think is normally very cute, much to h's annoyance, has put on a hell lot of weight, making him look a little like the pot belly uncle types and making the college student gig a little unbelievable. anyway he plays the forced-by-parents-engineer. which i kind of got. in fact so much, that i kept saying to myself, so true. soo soo true.

then there was aamir khan's character, who is super passionate about engineering. even though his character is this supposedly humble, down to earth, happy go lucky guy, he really comes across as smug. then there's sharman joshi who likes engineering but who is so scared to fail, that he fails anyway. i really liked the whole sharman joshi tragic family angle, the whole eczema scene cracked me up. kareena kapoor played her role sincerely and her bit part helped in keeping her annoyingness at bay. just the last scene of her leaving her shaadi ka mandap is just plain dumb, and cliched as always. i never understand why hindi movies wait till the very anth moment for the guy/girl to proclaim their love or actually say something.[read: dil chahta hai, love aaj kal, dil hai ke manta nahin, life in a metro...the list is endless] in fact this has totally screwed with pples' heads, where pple will unreasonably expect this to happen in reality too. in reality, this never ever happens.

anyway, the guy who played chattur, silencer did a great job. though the character seems exaggerated, i actually knew pple like this.

i guess the whole msg of the movie is finding your passion, and giving it your all. but how about those who don't know what they want. and who aren't passionate about what they do, but don't particularly hate it either. more importantly, those who dont know what their passion is..whats their solution, the movie doesn't answer that?
what about those, who are at the same time so lost that one doesn't know what interests them. or the case where everything interests you, but doesn't hold your interest for long. im so guilty of this it shocks me how shallow i can be sometimes. i will watch an episode of grey's anatomy and want to be a doctor. i will call my sister and demand her to become a neurosurgeon until she hangs up on me in frustration. then i started watching nbc's new drama, deep end,(the show is not that great) today and now i want to be a lawyer.

luckily, i find american idol to be a big bore, or i would be taking voice modulation classes now, or worse auditioning for that show. i guess there is still some possibility once xfactor gets underway.
so i shouldn't say never. ever.

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

top 10 ways to forget you just went on vacation.

1. log into your work email. at 4 am.
2. crib to self that its the effects of jetlag, never mind the time difference is only an hour.
3. watch your tv playlist, resume play
4. pick a fight. with anyone.
5. upload only your fat pictures.
6. unpack the first second you land home
7. look at bank statement. faint. wake up again. then faint
8. try leaving a msg for yourself at work, wishing yourself a highly productive day tommorow. get the voicemail. its full. try calling again.
9. dont ask anyone about their upcoming holiday. in fact change your status msg to i hate you all holidaygoers
10. plan your next vacation

in all earnest though, it is 4;33 am and i am unreasonably jetlagged. so i went to usvi this long weekend. heres the rating. beach person paradisometer? 9/10 scenic viewometer? 9/10 stress freeomater? 10/10... food lovers paradisometer 2/10 ( i really can and should open a restaurant there)..eyecandy ometer 1/10...i-cant-believe-this-is-part-of-the-us-ometer 9/10 (its so rundown in parts it shocks you)..i guess i could live there, if i wanted a really laidback lifestyle, really loved the beach and wanted to live in beach wear my whole life or if i just plainly wanted to laugh at tourists who will believe anything and shell out as much as 20 bucks for a burger and fries. yep, i could do that.

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Monday, December 14, 2009

cause my dreams are bursting at the seams

so my favouritest couple in gossip girl like all of the teeny boppy teenager population is blair and chuck. after watching today's episode where he starts to push her away, while she does the whole i know you are better than this... im like crap, why do tv writers intentionally breakup couples who are just so perfect and so meant to be. i guess there is something, something romantic about being starcrossed lovers. its hard to say even what that means. does it mean, that your paths keep crossing, sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally and despite the odds, despite your stars not aligning you gravitate towards each other and make it work. its literally either do or die. and i guess the romance is in the process and not so much the destination.

i guess my major beef nowadays is with movies taking away the dreaminess factor. i saw up in the air recently, and most of my friends liked it for the reality factor. the protagonist had a really slow growth graph and thats the reality, we have very few and far epiphanies. anyway,i didn't like it much, i felt it was a pointless movie and i would much rather preferred watching a cliched ending, proving to me that all is good at least in celluloid world.

unfortunetly i do forget, its the end of the era of dreamers like me.

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Wednesday, December 02, 2009

tu yei jaane..ya na jaane..humko pata hai huzoor

i wonder about your confusion
as i wonder about mine too

is the confusion
an avoidance
of the harsh truth

is the confusion
your kindness
your not wanting to hurt

is the confusion
a trait of our
personalities

is the confusion
not a confusion
but a baseless fear

is the confusion
your coldness
my unanswered questions
my pushing
your helplessness

is the confusion
between being just best friends
and
between being lovers

i dont know.



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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

missing

a slogan on a tshirt
reminds me of you

sometimes its a person
i see walking by

then sometimes its
the time that you'll usually call

other times its
someone's randomn love story similar to ours

or
sometimes a restaurant i think you will like
or
sometimes when im looking through books of shelves
or
sometimes a shirt i think youll look good in
or
sometimes when i find something funny and want to not forget so i can share it.


different times
and
different reasons
each missing feeling different from the next
oscillating between the miserable and the acceptance
outcome still remains the same

miss you.

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Monday, November 23, 2009

the heart

sometimes
you feel
for no real reason

sometimes
you like
because you feel

sometimes
you love
because you like

sometimes
you hurt
because you love

sometimes
you are angry
because you are hurt

sometimes
you regret
because you were angry

sometimes
you cry
because you regret

sometimes it doesn't matter
that you regretted
that you cried
that you were angry
that you were hurt
that you loved
that you liked
that you felt
since there was
never
no
real
reason

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living beyond the edge

so for the last week or so i have been in atlanta, keeping my sister and the youngest addition to the d family company. i think its really tough being a parent. especially if you live in the nuclear family setting. some may argue the opposite obviously, having to deal with extended family in your face, your inlaws could take a toll on you. but i still think you have the luxury of' me' time which is so important. whereas when you are on your own, you have just you to depend on and simple things like going to watch any random movie, or late night dessert outings are no more an impulse thing and its more of a planned outing. i guess it makes you grow up. [sad for those of us who continue to live in our teenagedom in adulthood] it forces you to become responsible and selfless too. i think most parents do the best job they can, and its only when you are much older and are past the your "parents will never get you" stage that you realize that.

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Saturday, November 07, 2009

mat jao

distance was
always the enemy
and now
so is time
so is fatigue

there may be
nothing to say
nothing to proclaim
but still
you want to say more
anything more

is this fleeting
is this forever
its hard to say
its just feels right now.

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Saturday, October 31, 2009

kya karoon dheeme dheeme se, nashe mein jo hai zindagi

ok so i haven't really,truly, completely blogged in a long time. in fact, i dont think i have done many things in a long time. mainly coz i have been preoccupied with other things..good things but things where i have no me time anymore. time is passing so fast that i have forgotten all the things that i wanted to accomplish this year. and now the reasons for accomplishing them seems so futile. almost. i guess high on my list of things was finishing this book so i could actually feel intelligent at work, i haven't crossed page 20. i feel like one of those kids who are so unserious about what they are doing and just riding the current wherever it takes me. its really not a good feeling.

anyway, i went to the halloween parade this weekend. i cant say i have ever had a good experience at the halloween parade, but every year i go. old habits die hard. anyway, this time we decided to be in the parade then out of the parade simply coz its just so much easier and less crowded...and the whole mob like mentality is a little more controlled. anyway, it was raining and people werent that enthu. blame it on the recession or the rain. god knows. so anyway, i ended up meeting a few new people.

i think as we grow older, its really hard to kind of hit off with new people that you meet. . i tried to rack my brain for topics to talk about, but each topic was met with a dead end. like seriously , those weird awkward silences and even the laughing for no reason was not helping. yes, ok. that is sad.

last week, i ended up again meeting an eclectic group of pple and the conversation was so dry, i wanted to stab myself with a fork. in fact, i would rather have gone to the dentist. yea ok, i get it the common thing in these stories is me. and maybe its just my lack of super amazing conversational skills. but, i really really don't think so.

i seriously think the art of conversation is dieing. the art of romance is dead. and the art of sponatienty (spelling) is long buried.

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Friday, October 30, 2009

love or something like it

there are times where i
know you
you are my person
there are times where i
completely get you
you really are my person

then there are those times
where i forget
that i only know a part of you
and in that part
you are not my person.

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

we'll fast forward to a few years later and no one knows expect the both of us

in a way
i wish
i was still a kid
i see a puddle
i jump
i don't care
about my
stained jeans
drained shoes
i just care about that
second
about that
minute

in a way
im glad im a grown up
i know
my choices are half luck
i know
my choices are mine
i know
if things look well
i can decide to jump
and i know
if things don't look so good
i can avoid the puddle

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Monday, October 19, 2009

the feeling

the feeling
is what keeps me motivated
the reality not so much
the feeling is what keeps me free and open
the reality is not so much
the feeling is what keeps me happy
the reality i fear will not

so you live
you live in the feeling
you live
in your own created feeling
you live
away from reality
until it forces you to
abandon
the feeling

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Sunday, October 04, 2009

yei bhi hua kabhi..jaise hua abhi

i shove
you push
you shove
i push

when push comes to shove
we both step back
only to find
ourselves
back at square one.

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

itch in my brain.

you feel
you may know all the answers
you probably do, deep down
even if you think, you dont.
but, you live in confusion
that is your nature.

you are being honest
but are you being so
because thats the goodness in you
or because you
think you have nothing to lose


you think you have the authority to judge
you have an air about yourself that i cant understand
you have surrounded yourself with you so much
that you can't see your crap anymore


you dont say anything
when others say a million things
you smile and adjust
you are told what you should do
and you believe it
that is your nature .

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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

kabhi dil ke kareeb..tumhe mere naseeb

i hesitate
you hesitate
we don't know
what to say
we try not to
spoil the moment
we try to
preserve the moment

we feel fear
we feel excitement
we feel scared
we feel happy
we think of
the future
we talk of it
as we
we talk of it
as a given

we talk
knowing fully well
that this we that we've created
may never
get past the present

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Monday, September 07, 2009

Khamaka bewaja......khwaab buntha raha [Simply, for no reason... I dream]


when you know you are not in new york city
s: its really close
me: how close is close?
s: 20 minutes by car
me: 0_o


when you know you are going back to new york city
me fumbling around with my book, ipod, glasses, cellphone, basically all my gadgets leaning over to place them on an empty seat on the plane, so i can get a grip on myself.
some lady: thats my seat
some guy: yea i thought she was sitting behind
some lady giving me dirty looks
me: im so sorry just trying to sort myself out
some lady STILL giving me dirty looks


when you know you are in new york city
bus ticket seller: did i see you last week on delta terminal
some lady: yea i travel a lot
bus ticket seller: i know same faces, same faces
does anyone need any tickets?

silence

bus ticket seller: alrite then, have a great day. i love you all.

me: 0_o

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Thursday, September 03, 2009

torei bigei sei torei num hai hum..kal sei soyei huei kam hai hum.

she was 18
she shared her notes with him in class
she competed with him in every grade
he got in to medical school she didnt

she was 20
he helped her on her homework every week
she made sure she went when he was at the lab
he did not know her name

she was 22
she was not interested, he was, then she was
they knew it was a mistake
and they waited for the threads to break away
they did

she was 24
she did not know him, he did not know her
she liked his gruff but comforting voice
he liked her lopsided grins
they took the risk

she was 72
she felt alone for the first time in 48 years
it was her last birthday.

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Wednesday, September 02, 2009

woh tum wali feeling

we were strangers
we became
acquaintances
perhaps
we can say
that we progressed
to being facebook friends
then we evolved into
friends who message
each other everyday
then
friends who call
each other everyday
its hard to say
when and at which point
we ceased to be friends

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Monday, August 31, 2009

grades do matter

should i be freaking out if my boss tells me during a review process that 70% will end up with b's and a b is not bad and we should all be lucky to end up as bs. should i, should i? god i hope i dont end up with a b

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

ek geet hijar da

so this month, i have been doing my own version of social butterflying. i have been speaking to more and more pple and trying to get better at networking. but most importantly i am now trying to do something which i hav resisted for so long ie. learn the art of small talking. ie learn the art of bsing. yes very much the how to influence people and make friends kinds. :).

anyway so i am now going to be teaching high school math once a week, will blog about that once that happens. but what i am really excited about is this religious event that i went to last weekend. i met quite a few people, and everyone i met was super nice and even with the whole awkwardness one feels when you are going to a new place with no sidekick (read friend to keep you company - so you can talk to each other if people are too weird). but this was a solo mission on my part and i actually had fun. food was great (an impt factor..haha) and i learnt quite a bit, which is rare when i am doing small talk. but what i liked best was the whole non judgemental thing, i have never ever been to any prayer service where men and women have not been segregated. here it was announced that there is no segregation. and i know lot of pple will not agree with it, but if you think about it, you are praying to God and if you say you are going to be distracted by some random guy or girl praying next to you, what use is your prayer anyway to you or to God?

so i thought it was pretty neat, i think its a small and important step not just for equality but common sense too.

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