sea of change?
Date: four days ago
Time: 2:00 am
Venue: 24 hour deli at the corner of my house
Reason: craving for starbucks icecream.
at the deli
radio playing in the background - speaker with a slight desi accent.
curiosity killed me (not the cat) and i ask the chinese cashier.
me: what station are you listening to
cc (chinese cashier): bbc
me: (hesitant) ok
cc: they are talking about indian elections. i think congress will win and rahul gandhi will be PM
me:(zapped that people other than indians care and know about india elections - smilingly): we'll see what happens.
i think everyone in politics has their own agenda. some driven by money, fame, power god knows what else.
on talking about the fate of nuclear energy. dead since lack of fuel, technology and investments
rahul gandhi : i am very proud to say that our prime minister Shri Manmohan Singh ji has recognized both the problem and a potential solution.
*applause*
rahul gandhi: But it would be unfair of me not to accept that Shri Vajpayee, also saw the problem and also in his time worked on the solution
*silence*
some random guy in the background: (taali tau maro)
rahul gandhi: iskiliyei tau mar dijie
people yelling in the background, maachi market style
there maybe good individuals who want to run for office but unless you are running as an independant, its hard to actually make a difference. political parties have their own agenda. like cc, i dont doubt that one day rahul gandhi will be pm of india.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
paper, paper, paper.
so last week, i went to this "debate" hosted by a news channel. there is top security in entering and leaving the building. you get badged before and after you leave. The speakers were all affiliated with some hedge funds, universities (ie professors of finance at prestigious universities) and had some book deals going on ecetra ecetra ecetra. the moderator himself was one of the channe'ls top gun.
i really thought it was going to be like the vice presidential debate. i think it was american reality tv at its best. the topic of discussion the current crisis.
it was not. it was quite dry as you would expect as any mathematicians lecture to be. a personality hazard, if i may so myself. me included. the moderator was great and tried to move it along. letting each speaker his 5 mins, ok scratch that, 15 mins of speech. and literally two of them did that, not stopping for a breather. imagine talking 15 mins nonstop, with not a single pause.
i zoned out after 5. my friend sitting next to me fell asleep and the lady sitting next ot me started filing her nails (i think she was a journalist meant to be covering the event). the only excitement in the debate was when people started asking questions. the first question was are the banks now trustworthy? do we trust the banks? followed by more evasive answering. bottom line no, but we can't say. where will everyone put their money then. second question, this was met with pin drop silence. who are hedge fund investors? for a moment all speakers were zapped. the guy asking the question takes a moment to clarify, i dont mean names, in general. basic question: were hedge funds responsible for the crisis? basic answer: god knows.
all in all an interesting debate of unanswered questions. brings me back to what i have been saying all along. no one and i mean no one knows what the hell is going on. and if you wait long enough the efficient market hypothesis will hold. and markets will move back to where they should be.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
its a small crime, and i have got no excuse.
tonight while studying at the heavily medical students populated starbucks, an elderly man comes in looks around and yells:
"starbucks is an effing library" and then he leaves.
while, me and a med student on the neighboring table grin at each other.
it really is. just much better.
its a library where you can drink, eat, talk on the phone, download music, play board games and give dirty looks to people who sit around talking loudly to their group of friends while drinking coffee.
yes. we make the rules.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
let me think. in my box.
anyway, i keep telling myself i will bring in pictures of my family. you know just in case i dont forget about them, excetra excetra. the only thing is - they wont let me, i get on average 5 calls a day from my family and friends. i enjoy the gossip, like any normal person would. but sometimes i enjoy it better, when i can say what i want, without having the whole floor hear it too. so back to what i was saying, i guess i dont always get why pple bring in pictures. i mean i understand bringing your kid's picture and strewing it all over your cube. ok wait no i dont get that. doesnt it make you miss your kid more and bring you to the edge of a nervous breakdown for leaving your kid. beats me. but moreso, i can never understand how pple put up the pictures of their boy/girl-friends. what if you break up? then everyone including the cleaning lady at work knows. and everyone and their mom wants to know the details. and i dont know if i want to put my parents picture up either, coz it will just make me miss home infinite times more.
ok moving on from photographs, i have a steel spoon (no idea how it got onto my table), couple of hand creams/sanitizers which i mostly forget to apply but suspiciously it seems to be getting used up. packetful of gum - politely offered to whomsoever my nose recommends me to. sometimes me included. then there are loads and loads of folders. i cant imagine i have accumulated so much paper in 2 years. just for fun, i want to try to build a little cube of folders in my cube. symbolic and all. i wonder if anyone will get it. they probably wont.
but speaking of desks, apparently when i landed my desk i was like crap im sitting next to boss, that sucks. proximity to boss is directly related to productivity and inversely related to surfing the web. but what i failed to see then was the silver lining, if you may, and which i now see clearly.drumroll...... i sit right next to a window! woohoo! a window, usally given to those high up on the ladder. the window gives me light, the priviledge to be the first one to say "hell its snowing", the possibility to make hand signals to people in the high-rises directly across, and of course my personal favourite allowing me to daydream.
yea ok, i need a window to daydream.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
kisie da kisie da yaar na pardes jaawe...saanu ek pal chain na aave, sajna tere bina
its raining, pouring really, outside and its 2 am and i have zilch food in the house only my botel of water and volumes of books to keep me company. and while i study i listen to this beautiful song by nusrat fateh ali khan who i believe was a good human being and i know this just listening to his voice. i first heard his "mustt mustt" today evening at a local starbucks of all places, that too when they were closing and luckily for me they had their tv screens playing the 'song you are listening to' so i didnt have to remember they lyrics. apparently its on sarah mclachlan's playlist too. cool, no? and seemingly all desis think alike coz at that moment another desi guy sitting in starbucks went up to ask the starbucks employees about the song. and i assume he downloaded it there and then on his phone and walked out in the rain listening to the perfect rain song.
i wonder when golu grows up what her favourite rain song will be?
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
and we rise and fall to only rise again
"i find dubai revolting" - some character in todays episode of 90210.
ok yes - the show isnt something to quote, and i really watch it coz im the equivalent to those who get hooked on the saans bahu serials and despite their inane storylines cant let go. anyway a year ago, dubai was the "it" place and characters in popular shows were mentioning dubai in reference to the fact that it was THE popular destination last year and the fact that being global was in. but as everything tanks and correlations are at their all time high, global is now equivalent to local. and something tells me this new found love is just temporal.
jiska koi nahin hai, wuska pi hai. i still laove you my beloved, dubai.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
“I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”- He's just not that into you.
i first learnt about this book two years ago, when i was visiting new york during my grad school years and me and my friends were sitting in the barnes and nobles starbucks. and a friend of mine was going through a breakup and actually reading the pocketbook outloud in the coffeeshop regardless of people staring at us. the movie unlike the book doesn't answer the questions and even after reading the book you are like ok this is a whole lot of fluff.. and after you're done reading the book you're like 'come on' that's not true and isn't everyone's story unique and supposedly ''magical" in its own quirky way.
so a friend, goes through this whole 'will he-wont he' phase, where the guy agrees to go for dinner and then in the follow up dinner cancels saying he's too tired and doesn't schedule another date.
right, doesn't sound too good.
i try to be diplomatic since my friend thinks he's really shy so i say maybe he'll call later give it a week. but another friend quotes from the above movie - and point blank says seriously he's just not that into you. but then i dont know if its because of actually feeling a connection in the first meeting (i honestly think theres no such thing) or because there's this insatiable need to know - the need to know why someone would turn you down- so i dont know if its eithe rof these two that my friend texts him again- and then he texts back - and now they continue texting short notes to each other - no one taking the first step - no one willing to jump head on and just ask outright - no one does that ever- coz no one wants a bruised ego - or coz no one wants to admit that they are just not THAT into you.
in one of the therapy sessions, that only good friends will do (ie yours truly) me and my friend were sitting next to this couple, who ironically were on their first date. ok and sure we were eavesdropping, i mean there has to be some advantage that space in new york is scarce. so the guy asks the girl after an awkward pause - so umm do you like brad pitt? - soooo lame, im sorry but it is. and then at the end of the meal, the restaurant that only accepts amex denies to take his visa card and sadly he's out of cash. needless to say the date doesn't goes well.
so this is the american dating ritual. so, changing tracks, even the desi ritual is not much better. you reject people after looking at their pictures. just their pictures. everyone is guilty of that. and its ok if both of you dont like each other. its end of story. but if one does, yes albeit shallowly, it gets complicated. so rather than directly saying anything, you ignore the person and hope they get the message. brutal, yes. but is there any other way that we can weasel our way out of it?
Monday, April 27, 2009
genda phool
in other randomness. i'm loving being an auntie. its pretty great. its like what most grandparents feel. yea ok strange. ill explain. you can spoil the kid rotten, play with her and you have zilch responsibilities. its like sonei pei suhaga. so a month is over, since shes been born and it still feels strange it feels like we are babysitting for someone else's kid. it still hasnt sunk in yet. and anyone who says raising kids is easy is plain lying. my mom tends to say ab pata chala aatei daal ka bhao. which according to me is a very random analogy but what do i know. the thing is when you ahve been brought up in the gulf or in asian countries, you have so much domestic help so much family in your face all the time that you dont appreciate all this until you have none of it. and when the little one cries just when you are about to lie down yourself, you wish - you wish you had santa's little helpers to help you take care of the kid. by you i mean the parents, and really the mom.
so anyway, the way i see it the best thing u can do for yourself and for your kid is to make him/her independant as possible, and that means as knowledgeable as possible. and in that spirit heres a picture of my golu, the 1 month old newspaper reading baby. ma. all thats missing is a cup of tea.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
and just like that life comes in, and things begin to change
i became a massi, the first time ever, on 28 March 2009. My sister's actual due date. The nurse volunteered information that I gladly absorbed that only 6% of parents have their kid on their due date. So my sister and brother in law became proud parents of a beautiful little baby girl, named Zainab, all of 7.4 pounds and 20.5 inches. She is a typical arien, an extremely fiesty, a bit moody, super hygienic baby, and when she stares at you with her round eyes you its the most sweetest thing ever.
my niece shares her birthday with my eldest sister as well. And last Saturday, the day started out with me waking up and calling her the first thing in the morning to wish her. on skype, since she lives not in the US. My second sibling messages me frantically saying my sister, whose expecting, is in labor. I check my phone and its filled with missed calls, I immediately took my duffel bag stuffed with my clothes and within 10 minutes I was in a cab urging the taxi driver to go faster.
I reached the hospital about 4 hours later and my sister was having major contractions and was in tremendous amount of pain. the in charge nurse kept checking in, but all we could do was wait, and wait for the inevitable. it was the complete antithesis of what i had imagined. i imagined we would wear scrubs. the movies glam things up a lot. the delivery happens in the same room, that you are checked into. its a private room, so you dont have to bear the frustrations of someone delivering before you, but you miss out on all the interactions that only expecting mothers could share with each other. towards the end, when the pain became unbearable, we ask for the doctor. the nurses have an almost non chalant attitude twoards the doctor and all our inquiries about the doctor are met with - "he's coming hes on his way". my eldest sibling is an obgyn and as an attendee, she usually makes it to the scene at the nth moment, and is only called sometimes when things are actually going bad.and thats something which no one will tell you, the doctor will not sit around listen to you squirming in pain and perhaps thats a good thing in a way since watching someone in pain can make your job extremely difficult and perhaps interfere in your judgement. and if things are going well, the resident doctor, ie the newbie, will be magically available to perform the delivery. as expected the resident doctor is firm, polite and thankful to be allowed this opportunity. the attendee is a bit harsh, almost mechanical, impersonal, always polite but confident and borderline arrogant. and that is the only way to be. one has not confidence in those who are polite and friendly but those who look like they know what they are doing. and that does hint arrogance. the obgyn walks in at the last moment, we are a little annoyed at him, for showing up so late, but at that moment we are just so extremely terrified and with all the constant yellings and urgings to push, my feelings quickly change to gratefulness any help is good. the resident doctor delivers the baby quickly and safely, thanks to God.
i can safely say this is one of those experiences in your life that you probably will never forget. its life altering for the parents, but its also a major eye opener for someone who is there during the whole process. the first is that human body is a miraculous thing - its a gift from God, and we should appreciate it, being pregnant - being in labour is extremely difficult and no one other than the woman can understand this, post pregnancy - there is no going back your life has changed and things get much much harder - but each day is as difficult as the previous day and gradually life becomes easier. personally i didnt freak out after seeing so much blood and tissue, which i thought i would, perhaps since my parents are doctors and siblings too i didnt freak out but perhaps its a simple thing as that we are all stronger than we think we are. i dont know if having a kid, life changes for the better, since im not the person in it, but those who do have kids and have gone through it, say it definetly does and is totally worth it. i think so many pple can not be wrong.
all i wish for her and her parents is to be patient, happy and healthy.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
can i facebook you?
in a city, where frankly there is no space. no space even for privacy. you get up in the morning, sans alarm, but by the sounds a. your neighbour having a shower and the geyser( i think thats what its called) making weird noises. or in the summer, birds chirping outside your fire escape. there arent that many trees in the city. and then in the traveling of trains. i recently reread a section of maximum city, where the writer meets a social activist and hes still very hopeful about mumbai since he describes the scene of the always extended hands, when the train is leaving hte platform. there are always pple that will extend their hand to get one more person on the train, despite it being cramped and sweaty. people understand your plight. here not so much, people will all cluster near the door, and will be exasperated at you, the person who is trying to push in. not always, but mostly. very rarely will someone try to hold the train doors for you. not to mention one shouldnt but still it is rare. and even when you are in the train, you can go days on days on being so physically near people but not even remembering their faces. i certainly dont remember.
maybe its not even the issue of space here, people need to be connected to one another superficially. twitter i can vouch is more so a craze in a city in new york rather than a city in utah or something. messages left for the world to know what you are upto, when most of the world really doesnt care. i happened to go to an alumni event today with my friend. i have been to a few alumni events and people who are actually good at networking immediately connect to the other person with their business card and the latest craze now is are you on facebook? you dont even need to preserve their card or pull out your phone and waste precious minutes keying in the number. all you need to connect to a person is their name. stupidly, im still holding out on facebook. i dont even remember to bring my business cards. and im terrible at small talk. i once spent an evening at a networking event talking about organizing an anti-networking club.
three days ago, i was out getting lunch and never has this ever happened in my life, but a guy stops me and compliments me and then asks if its okay to get my number. i declined and was in a bit of a shock. his reaction was like oh-ok dont worry about it and walked away. its become so casual that you can even stop pple on the street and ask them if they want to be connected to them. it amazes me. or in dubai where pple randomnly bluetooth pple in malls. i have friends who compare how many "friends" each us has on facebook. i'm not saying networking is bad or that one shouln't get to know as many people. because one should. the more pple you know the more you get to learn from them, the more you learn about life, about people's experiences. and perhaps the only thing you really need to start a conversation is your introduction, and that really is just your name.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
how about unabashadely bawling your eyes out?
i watched a pakistani serial called dorahay (cross roads ) last week. In fact, i was so hooked on to it that i watched all 14 episodes in one marathon session. its another thing that i wouldnt recommend this to anyone. since im so not cut out for pulling in all nighters anymore and definetly watching some huge heavy duty dram can totally alter your happiness. but it definetly is addictive. i think its the serial watching gene from my dad. well the good serial watching gene.
anyway the drama is pretty interesting about two mba students that come from different classes of society, the girl rich the guy not so much. the mother of the guy has already made up her mind that the guy will marry his cousin. in turn his cousin spends her whole childhood and teenage years dreaming about her marriage with the guy (her cousin). when he decides to marry his college sweetheart, things get extremely difficult with his mom. jealousy rears its ugly head, and the cousin, who happens to live next door starts creating a mess and misunderstanding. until finally the guy divorces his wife and gets married to the cousin, thanks to her conniving plan. the first wife remarries too, but this time too an abusive psycho controlling guy - she bears it since she doesnt want the stigma of another divorce. thankfully her parents find out and she gets divorced again. the first husband realizes how he screwed up his life and hers and is still in love with her so he ends up leaving the cousin and getting back with his first wife.
the story is so unbelievably real, the dialogues even better. it shows how unbeliveably capable each of us are in absolutely screwing up our lives. each of us can pick out something from this serial. i cried a lot while watching it. there are hardly any light moments in it. and there are many lessons to be learnt from this drama. one that never lose your independence, never trust anyone on face value, there is no such thing as the perfect guy, never ever let anyone treat you like you dont deserve respect, dont tolerate abuse in any fashion, always know what you are getting into - whether a job, a relationship, a marriage - always. never do harm to anyone coz it will come back and bite you in the ass. trust your gut feeling.
one of my favourite scenes is when she breaks down and tell the guy - that she doesnt care who came in the middle, he should have known better. i think that summarizes many reasons why a lot of relationships dont owrk. it never is about the third person, its always about the two pple in it. and the two pple should know better, should be able to say whatever and should be rock solid. it never really is like what you read in books.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
jugni chahdi ac car. jugni rehndi sheeshe paar
things have started to spiral more and more out of control. you hear about your friend of friends getting laid off. you then hear of friends getting laid off. and then you hear about street food cart vendors who make in a good year 100 bucks or so a day, now making just 50 bucks. you watch advertisements on tv telling you how others are saving up. your landlord calls you to remind you about your lease. you have recession specials at lunch. you see bilboards on crowded streets on movies that have already been screened and have actually flopped. and most of all when you screw up at work, you blow off dinner plans on a friday evening and you fret and fume in nervousness throughout the weekend.
in other news, im seriously considering going to dental school now considering how easy money it is. (ok grass is always greener on the ohter side). but what irks me, is the atrocious amount of money dentists charge here. and of course i understand theres no such thing as a good deal, but seriously why are your teeth considered the step child of your body. why is dental insurance so poorly covered. hell even medical is so expensive here. its just plain wrong. what riled me up actually was when my dentist told me i should just borrow the money for cosmetic procedures ( read braces, porcelain veneers) - when i asked her for viable financial options. i repeat cosmetic procedures, not healthy precautionary procedures - that one should do. WTH. the economy is in recession, dont you watch tv - is there no kind of dental hippocrates oath, where you are not coaxing the naive scared patient into taking such financial risk. ok, maybe i exaggerate, but my point is you can't just ask your patient to take a loan. it really doesnt make sense to me. maybe its me and not them. =)
the other day i was reading a forum where some dude, (i really hope its not real), but apparently when citi shares dropped to 7 bucks, he used his citi credit card to purchase the shares thinking he would make a quick buck. we all know what happened. and now the dude refuses to pay his card company saying until your (as in citi shares) dont go back up-he will not pay. its a vicious cycle of greed everywhere from the producer to the supplier to the consumer. if you can't afford something which is a luxury just don't buy it until you can.
to end with a good note. i just read this news . This gives you hope that all is not lost.=)
Saturday, March 07, 2009
pls dont judge me, i'm only trying.
there is a mosque on the east side some 20 blocks from where i live. in fact its only in the US that i realized that women actually go to the mosque, in the Gulf its really not the norm. but mosques here in the US are quite unique. even in a metropolitan like manhattan, things are so vastly different from what they show in the little mosque at the prairie.
so anyway today, i felt like going, i was going to be reading at a bookstore in that area and was like let me go do my Isha prayers there. i don't normally go and i forget why and today it reminded me why. there were about 20 men i would say in a hugely vast space and three women in this small closet like area, with a curtain. can't see a thing. basically an enclosed space. this is not how it is in mecca. we are all equal and all of us have the same right. well anyway, as i walk in, removed my shoes and decided to take them with me. when i walk into the women's area there was, at first, just one lady and she's like take your shoes and put in the box outside. i nod and just at that moment the azaan starts. and she just lunges at me and is like put your scarf on your head. and even goes to the extent to grab my shawl. at this moment, im just in shock. and politely and firmly i say - i can do it. after i return, she asks me did you pray sunnat already? after that i just felt so conscious, and i could actually feel her eyes boring into me. every motion i did.
im sorry i dont get it. i thought only God judges me. i dont understand why can't people let others be. why do you have to balk at someone who is trying, who is trying to find some peace, why do you spoil their moment by picking up their hand during prayer and motioning to them aggressively that wearing nail polish is no good. (that didnt happen to me but someone i know). just focus on your good deeds, on being a good person - please don't try to judge someone coz someone will judge you too one day.
i heart andy mckee
my friends and i went to his amazing concert yesterday and it was just super super inspiring. i even got my camera and managed to take a few good pictures. i really wish he plays again in new york soon, i am so going to be there. and after watching his videos on youtube i felt like playing the guitar. and the thing is being so talented and gifted, he is soooo down to earth, humble and extremely funny. just an awesome awesome experience. i cannot stop gushing.
in other news, me and my classmates at guitar school may do a performance for student open mic night. perhaps this april or in july depending on how well we do.
here's his youtube video of my favorite drifting.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
it wasn't me i swear..everybody is looking for the monkey out there.
so i saw delhi 6, and whatever everyone says about the movie - i actually learnt something. (that doesnt say much about me) but apparently in 2001 there was the case of a "kala bandar" in delhi. where some "creature" was terrorizing highly populated areas. this is the best statement from an article in time magazine, published at that time. Says the secretary-general of the India Rationalist Association "People in India often find it difficult to distinguish between fantasy and reality." Who knew that there is an organization for just rationale people? =) Also, did they ever find the real monkey-man?
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it." -Marshall McLuhan
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
i never loved you anyway, im so happy you are moving awayyy.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
sapnon sei bharei naina
they say first impressions are last impressions. i agree. there is a certain vibe that one gets from a person. im not saying good or bad, you can get a neutral vibe too. but when its good, you know. i dont know how, but you do. perhaps its a sixth sense. i dont know. a friend once told me, (too simplified for me), that everyone has a mental checklist of what they want in a spouse, and just by the magic of the human brain, you are able to compute, without the help of complex algorithms or calculators, almost immediately- within minutes whether you would be able to live with this person for the rest of your life.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Onde Ponde Ghoomde Phirde, Is Duniyaa Vich Challe Oye
things that rile me up today
http://www.gulfnews.com/nation/Society/10280130.html
1) rich people balking on paying their gardners, give or take $80 dollars a month. "all on the oooh-its a global crisis, we have to cut back". yea you should cut back. cut back on your lavish dinners, outings, your gazillion cars that just pollute - try car pooling, or even better take the bus, cut down all your omigod-i-need-the-new-iphone-craze. not someone's livelihood. have a brain. and a heart.
2) rental prices in my beloved bankrupt dxb. i will still love you no matter how poor you become. heres a dekko.
http://www.gulfnews.com/Nation/Housing_and_Property/10276330.html
so i looked over the property prices for a measly studio. and at the lowest end is the yearly rate of 35K AED. (approximately 10K USD). upfront. and this isnt even in the heart of the city, forget living in posh areas or in a skyscraperish building, giving you the view of the sea from some obscure corner of your house (usually your bathroom ).
ok granted, dubai is relatively tiny compared to say, i dont know texas. but my rent in texas was 1000 bucks a month for a 2 bedroom/2 bath appartment. why are they milking people so much i have no idea. and the salaries arent noteworthy at all. my first job in Dubai i wouldnt been able to afford a studio on that rent. you can do the math. granted, i was just an intern. and it was before dubai went all crazy on raising the rent. just long enough for people to madly raise it, and then when things went out of control they put a cap. and now when property prices have fallen, they want to increase it again. this is totally bs. but salaries haven't been inflated as much, and a vast majority of people are still making less than 1000 dollars a month, and so they cannot afford to live in a basic stuido. a studio is shared by two, three and sometimes four people.
i live in a studio now, and i find it small by myself. and if say five pple are standing in my kitchen, it can give you claustrophobia. im not kidding. so this really really riles me up. just coz people have to make money and therefore they suck it up and stay with these conditions and they cant afford to complain, it doesnt mean they are happy. shouldnt the overall governemnt care about the happiness of these people? shouldnt everyone at least be paid so much that that they can afford to live in a basic studio. or shouldnt the prices of studios be affordable so that everyone can afford to live in one. and then they wonder why supply is so much greater than demand. and why they are going bankrupt. (i still love you)
3) slumdog millionaire mania.
first of all, its a good movie, its not the most awesome movie ever written. but thats okay, the oscars/golden globes aren't the pathar ki lakeer. so its great, that it got nominated coz it has desi actors and technicians. and yes barring the main director and the producers everyone else is indian. so thats still something good for india. so props to the team. and yes, it doesnt show india in the most awesome light. but no one can say that its not the truth. yes its not the whole truth, not everything in india is like what they show. but it is someone's truth. in fact a big slice of the people's truth. bollywood movies on the other hand, show a way tiny sliver of the truth. im sorry but regular people cant go on euro rail, or drive racer bikes for con operations, or do a dance performance in the alps. so im sorry mr bachchan. and guys slumdog is a slang word. at least to me, its a mixture of slums and underdog. and believe me no one i know has had any problems being called an underdog. so stop getting all preindependance-british-called-us-dogs. news flash british have left. and the only one calling u a dog, is you with your own banner signs. so stop all this morcha nonsense. and honestly, not the slums but your propaganda is giving india a bad name. ok wait that also is.
things that im confused about.
so air india have bit the bullet and have started weekly flights from dxb to srinigar. all for 99 AED. (~$27) one way. quite cheap i think.
I honestly dont know what to feel about it. i mean i dont even know if this is even a debateable thing. its good in a way since the tickets are cheap, a lot of people will now want to go there and then take a local flight to their homes. so its good tourism or commuter i would say business for srinigar. and perhaps a very good thing for the whole area. which has seen a lot of crap. but its also a quick getaway thing, as everyone and thier mom knows. dubai - which i never knew until recently, is really the getaway place for gangsters and their moms. in the book maximum city, the writer writes on how lot of these shooters when they do a job to disappear from india, go straight to dubai, and then cool their heels. they are well taken of. they have a flat, they go for movies, they blend into the city - a city full of expatriates and a city that minds its own business. but they get bored and itch to go back to india again. when i read this it shocked me, and when i would see a lone guy sitting in a cinema hall i did think of it. maybe im taking suketu mehtas word for everything, but im just saying it could be a bad thing as well. so im two sided. good that it might ease tensions when you have so many pple commuting to that region, bad since it may become easier for the wrong pple to blend in.
things that im happy about today
that tommorow is a friday. oh how i love you friday. you are so dependable and you shine your grace on me every week. life is about appreciating the small things. =)
have a good weekend, all.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
so this weekend i went to the metrop. musuem of art in the city. they are open till 9 pm on weekends. its just awesome, i dont know any mususem anywhere in the world which is open tilll late. new york is truly s a city that does not sleep =).
what i never knew was that the whole practice of dowry is not an asian thing. and is actually borrowed from the europeans and it was existent in 14th century in italy. mumbai, itself, was part of a dowry from the portugese to the british. and i find it pretty weird that the whole system of dowry is traced all the way back to the entire city.
it got me thinking (yes i have way too much time on my hands (NOT)).what happens now exactly? who pays for what in the west? traditionally, the bride's family pays for most of the expenses. this is perhaps a watered down version of the archaic tradition of the dowry system in the early centuries. of course, its no typical dowry as the conventional desi sense. bungla, ghari, motor-wotor ecetra. no such thing. just wedding expenses. although lately a lot of people have moved away from tradition, rightfully so, and now the couple's family divides the expenses equally. and even better, is that some of my friends who got married split the costs between each other, without having their parents contribute at all.
so like the change that has occured in the west, im guessing another 100 years before dowry gets abolished from india. hopefully sooner. recently an article came out in times of india, about a village in kerala, that has pledged to be a dowry free village. that is change. but then you hear about some guy in lucknow shaving his wife's head because of insufficient dowry. and then you think change is so far off. some 6,000 women get killed every year due to dowry demands. it shocks me, its so wrong. so unbelievably wrong. i was recently watching kiran bedis new show on tv, aap ki kacheri, it gave me a splitting headache. the case was pretty simple, two women, sisters, and their fight with their mother in law. who apparently thinks, acha nahin lagta if they go out of the house. so the girls, cannot work and have imposed reclusion at home. and in betweeen their arguments, the mother in law tosses insults like kuch nahin leikar aye types. like its her god given gift. the husbands are even a bigger disgrace. even kiran bedi herself was pissed. she quite smartly was also able to pick out that one of the girls actually got married as a child. and so sonei peh suhaga child marriage too. ridiculous.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
from chandni chowk to china..kyun dekhi yei picture mujhei nahin samaj aaina
ok so the story is pretty simple in a complicated way.haha. theres this goofy good for nothing guy (akshay kumar) who works as a chef for mithunda (his adoptive dad or something like that). anyway so hes in chandni chowk and theres this oppressed village in china who are looking for their saviour, who has been reincarnated in the form of akshay kumar. The villagers come to india from china. there is no relevant explanation on why they think akshay kumar is their reincarnated hero, it almost looks like they pick up the first desi dude they find. then theres ranvir shorey doing the sidekick-bad-guy-will-turn-into-good-guy role, apparently hes half chinese in the movie. and lets not forget the leading lady(ies) deepika padukone in her first double role- wait does omshantiom count as a double role? anyway shes half chinese in this movie too (i have no idea how they can even get away with saying that?) anyway this is a hindi movie so basically her double role consists of playing a sidekick to bad guy, and the other one consists of a tv shopping network celebrity of some sorts. theres this whole angle where the bichrofied sisters are united with their dad who lost his memory thanks to the bad guy (played by Gordon Liu).
i think akshay kumar has done so many similar goofy roles, that its just getting repetitive. and i want to like him but i cant. its just boring. i like mithunda, so no comments there. he can just sit there and stare at the screen and hell still get my support. the rest are bleh. i have absolutely no idea what nikhil advani, the director was thinking. copying from boring asian-english movies is not smart. be like the abbas mastan guys and copy from movies that actually will impress. and i have absolutely no idea what warner brothers were smoking while deciding to finance this movie.
my rating : -1/5.
here's another glorious review by blogger ashraf Read more...
yei shehar nahin..mehfil hai
seriously a million bucks spent on interior decoration is so not cool, especially when pple are losing so much money.this makes me so mad. they behave like chindi chors for a couple of bucks when you want to stay at a hotel closer to campus but they have no qualms paying out pathetic amount of money (practically one person's salary) on a rug, especially when things are bad. thats just wrong. im sorry its not socialistically wrong. its just wrong. any way you look at it.
and why did no career counselor ever tell us that being the driver of an executive is so lucrative.
so then i read this other piece of news today, where michelle obama encourages the middle class to become teachers and nurses and not chase after money, and be dabofied in loans paying them off till your 40s when you are supposed to be saving for your kids. and she says its only coz of the president's best selling books that they are actually okay financially. i dont believe that for a minute. and i dont know if i agree with her statement, the whole american model of success, is built on the whole idea that the middle class can now afford to go to colleges and universities and build a future for themselves, which includes expensive things. which sadly require money. the actual idea being, you can make yourself financially better off given the opportunity. and this shouldnt be the priviledge of the rich. the american system gives you that opportunity. that being said, the world needs more teachers and nurses. and if it were left to me, they would be the people who would be getting a bonus this year, and yes - i would throw in a rug or two.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
barack hussein obama became the 44th president of the US today. and like the rest of the world today, i am hopeful
Read more...Thursday, January 15, 2009
yei new york hai merei yaar, bas ishq mohabat pyaaaaar.
i have been having those moments where im like omigod i have to blog this. this is usually when im work and i can do anything but blog. no thats not true, i cant google/yahoo/aim or anything or check personal email. sad. anyway, work goes fine, apparently the situation is now such that the markets are so bad that people are apparently sick of bad news that it doesnt affect them anymore. and frankly no one cares, no one is looking at their 401 K accounts and whats another 1 billion when Abu Dhabi fund is facing a 125 billion loss. How the hell they manage to blow up so much money is beyond me.
anyway, i have joined the microfinance club at work. so far they need people who write well and can interview high profile executives. i think im too unskilled for the job. no seriously. i am. i honestly dont know why i want to get into microfinancing, people who are usually in this have a solid idea. I haven't even started to read Yunus's Creating a world without poverty book. I just know that i want to do something good. i just know that I want to do something meaningful. especially when everything related to finance is equated to corruption. hell, even good ole desis in IT are now looked with suspicion. ok this is all in my head. desis are those diligent worker bees and barring desi politicians they are the only glimmer of hope for our country. i mean im the firm believer indian schools, indian corporate houses work work work and work hard. Im willing to bet all my full year salary that the CBSE system is much harder than British American education system. I know this since when I started undergrad, everyone (all desis) in my class found everything a breeze and had been coding since 7th grade. even if i studied all night i would never reach that level. the schools work their students to the extreme. the corporates work their workers to the limit. when i was back in dubai, in a firm full of desis, mostly mumbaites who play the game, and know the game. i would be the first one to leave and would be looked on as a slacker. and would be made to feel like crap coz of it. but ironically here im the last. and thats only coz im desi and the others arent. =) hahaha. but i dont let anyone feel bad for having a life. theres a big difference. and my whole belief is that the only thing stopping us from ruling the world is a way out of control population and scheming conniving politicians. oh and religious facists.
at least i thought so before the satyam scandal broke loose.
i dont know how this will affect outsourcing in the long run. maybe it will be okay two months down the road, maybe worse - who really knows. But, at least i now know that there is a crook for every geek. Worse comes to worst, multinationals will move to china, there was an article on this in businessweek. It might be bad in the short run and good in the long run. I have always been very two sided about this whole call center mushrooming in India. As much as Im a fan of put on accents, thats not really my bone of contention. I think call centers are dumbing down the nation. I know, a very controversial statement to make. Since, its brought out a lot of boom in the country, now 20 somethings dont have to wait till their 40s to actually spend money. They hang out at baristas, have fancy dinners, enjoy going to multiplexes and can afford to buy a car etc. they are making good money relatively to someone who spent years in uni doing post grad. but i will still argue, making money so, relatively easy, will be the achilles heel. a cousin of mine didnt graduate and decided screw college, let me get into call centers. he is doing well for himself, i wont argue with that. not everyone who goes to college is successful. but his brother now is tempted to the same, and drop his first choice of law. another way to see it, if you have money down the road, you can actually go back and do whatever you want - that which you couldnt get into due to lack of money - be it a post MBBS surgical residency or a film school. and after accumulating money you can go back and do it. and if you never went back, then you simply werent interested in it and is there any point in doing a degree in it in the first place?
or perhaps the time has passed and who really wants to be 25 sitting with a bunch of 18 year olds.
khayr, i pass no judgement, i just give my opinion.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
have you ever wondered where the story ends and how it all began?
disclaimer: this is a completely random post.
so first things first, wishing everyone who reads/stumbled on this blog a very very happy new year.. May the year bring you whatever you wish for and more.
I was away the last 10 days on my super short holiday (ok new years resolution: no complaining. no whining) , at least i got a vacation, which is a big thing. So I visited the UK for 4 days, mainly Leicester, Lake district and Birmingham. after that it was a 4 day stop over in dubai. UK is super laidback its unbelievable and i dont know what recession people are talking about coz the days after christmas, all the stores were chaotic, like you would think the stuff was for free the way people were shopping. after christmas, and they werent being cheapos like us picking up holiday cards at 50% to be used in 2009. hahah. but quite a few desis doing that, we all think alike. it may just be genetic.
i ended up sitting next to a guy from tzakistan (sp) on the plane who got terribly offended that i had not heard about the city hes from. For a moment I felt like whats his problem, but then it occured to me, I feel irriated too when people dont know what Dubai is. He then proceeded to show me all his pappers, his admission letter to college. I was quite shocked as to how pple can be so open.
Anyway Leicester, I didnt see much apart from looking at trees and brick houses worth millions of pounds and which incidentally are owned by cabbies. yes, that is the hot profession for the year. =). i kid u not. i think i may have taken some pictures, will post a few.
Birmingham, is desi town, and all desis look alike. The desi girls/ladies,all super thin and have 1 kilo of make up on, and something which i observed and thought was pretty great was how people wore their salwar suits bindaas in malls, that too the young young generation, whereas here in US even in very desi-ish localities like Queens, you wont see too many pple in salwar suits. The desi guys all look like SRK in Rab ne Bana di jodi. They all have the same hair cut, maybe better dressing sense.
Lake district is the place one should go if they want to get away from it all. We stayed in those lodges in the middle of mountains, with no internet connection and cell phones connection and a 12 inch size tv. its the antitech and i was totally loving it.
Dubai, nothings changed really in terms of infrastructure. A new mall has popped up again and has an aquarium inside,which honestly is pretty neat. The bad news is that dubai is on the verge of being bankrupt, and had to ask Abu Dhabi for help. The effect isnt immediate but a lot of pple have been laid off at banks and real estate companies, people who had taken loans be it personal, home, car loans and now can't afford to pay back the loans, so apparently they leave. Some huge number of cars were found at the airport with the key in the ignition. The situation will be even more grave in Dubai than in the US, since its a smaller country and made up of expats who take personal loans to actually build a house in their home country and for the Dxb govt to actually take possession of that will get messy and Im not sure if there are any laws that will help. jo hoga dekha jayega. a friend of mine who gave up his job in the US to move to Dxb, now cant find a job no one is hiring.
Me and doctorsaab (aka as my mom) finally did the road trip of Ras Al Khaimah and Fujairah. And since we dont have a GPS system in Dubai, we relied on highly built up places from the internet. So we ended up driving around aimlessly in Ras Al Khaimah. Considering it was new years, the park, the mall all were empty. And Fujairah, an older version of Dubai, definetly pretty was a bit shady I thought. We ended up eating at a dhaba and everyone kept staring at us. Finally we decided to ask someone, anyone kya hai at least to see in Ras Al Khaimah. We see a pathan walking on the road, we stop the car and motion to me. Heres how the conversation
went.
me: Khan saab, Ras Al Khaimah ki beach kahan hai
Pathan: Beach, toda paani hai wahan par, jidhar bachei shaam ko kheltei hai. Par aisi koi beach nahin hai.
me: Ras Al Khaimah, mein dekhnei kei layk kya hai
Pathan: Kuch bhi nahin, hum logh khud pareshaan hai. Dubai wapis chalei jao. Kuch bhi nahin hai yahan par. Chalei jao wapis (im sure he wanted to add aur hamein bhi lei chalo)
and so, we drove back home.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
aditya ne bana di kaisi movie
ok so i saw rab ne bana di jodi and lets just the storyline borders from downright stupid to implausible to just plain annoying. and in all honesty i thought the ending credits was the only good thing in the movie. i cant believe this is the same filmmaker who made dilwale dulhania le jayenge ( not my absolute favourite but sure after that movie a lot of girls thought they would meet their anjana koye on euro rail (i knew pple like this) and sure im also guilty of thinking that your guy will be a hero battling everyone for you - thanks to ddlj)
so the story is based on this simpleton who falls in love with his professor's daughter on her mehendi day or something. and in true filmy fashion, tragedy strikes, her to be groom dies and her father, on his dying bed, asks her to marry his favourite student, the simpleton. so far we can stomach. yes, i have sat through worse stuff. so i have a good amount of garbage hindi movie stamina. so, nothing new in here. this all happens within the first 10 mins - and im thinking good they didnt stretch the cliche, now we can get to the story. so then it starts where the simpleton tries to woo his wife (played by a newcomer), but he does not do it by being normal and just doing simple sweet romantic things that will make one fall in love with their husband but by get this - having a makeover (read tight clothes and highlighting hair) and behaving like a flirtatious bufoon. i know im not the only one who found the whole " taani pardner" irritating as hell. How in the world could she end up falling in love with a weirdo like that, its just beyond me. and when anyone with one fading blind eye can make out its the same guy just with a new hairstyle and clothes but HE is the same person. i also wonder how he managed to get the highlights out of his hair, in literally five mins. i need the fake raj's hairdresser. anyway so since this is a hindi movie and the heroines and villains in desi movies have collective iqs of -1, they cant see the obvious. so lets just take that a given. but, the end reaction just made me go a little mad, when she finds out that the bufoon and the simpleton are the same guy (ie shahrukh khan) she goes all lovey-dovey and is like omigod you love me so much, i nearly pulled out all my hair (ok gross exaggeration - but you get the drift). first of all if this ever happened ot me, i would be freaked out at my husband's split personality not be omigod you are so amazing.
you are just frickin scary.
but then again, thats just me.
my rating: 1/5 ( i would have given it 2 if it were, hmm..., some sidey hero...like that desh drohi guy (hahah ok mean) .but its shahrukh khan and aditya chopra..and they really should know better)
Friday, December 19, 2008
mein jahan rahoon. kahin bhi rahoon. yaad saath hai.
so im no intellectual. not even the pseudo-intellectual types. i like things which make sense and somehow make some connection with me. im loving maximum city by suketu mehta. i just started reading it, and each paragraph so far is like a gem in its own. what stands out for me so far: the epiphany that one has staring at oneself in the mirror but not really looking at yourself, one or perhaps two major life altering events ,that happen to everyone, and that will ultimately change what you become, forever. and my favourite jahan bhi jao, kitnei bhi dur, par ghum phir kei wohi pohch jaana. =)
getting back to the book. will return to blog some more.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
kabhi zindagi lagei bhari.
this week has been a terrible terrible week. it started out well and then it just went downhill like the stock market. i was out on monday celebrating eid at my sister's place. i come back on tuesday to the office. one side of the floor is occupied by my group and the other side is occupied by another group. I usually go through their floor to get to my seat and when I am passing by I see so much commotion and everyone is just standing around and people are exchanging numbers. Im like what IS going on? although, I do have an inkling. I log onto the before-it-happens-and-not-just-rumors website where people blog on who or which department is getting laid off. and sadly i see that a post has been posted that the heads are going to roll at my work place.
i still think nothing of it and become the worker bee that I am, buzzing around and doing my own thing trying to complete my work. we have a team meeting and its five of us in the meeting including my manager. after about 10 minutes my manager gets called out by a MD, after a minute he calls out one of my team members. they both dont come back and we finish off the meeting and when we come out. we convene again and our manager informs us that S has been let go. I think my first impression was pure astonishment and I was extremely stunned, you hear it, you read it, you watch it, you know it you know of friends who got laid off but this hits so close, people in your own team getting laid off - its very very sad. and frankly, it could be me next. The whole thing is making me feel very jittery. Plus it was done quite brutally and its quite embarassing to be called out from a team meeting and being let go. The whole day I didnt say anything,and was just in disbelief. uptil now its not sunk in. What shocked me most, was they weren't not a hard worker. They are smart individuals and its really really unfair.
You work hard, and the onus shouldnt fall on you a worker bee, when you never made those strategic business decisions.
I honestly dont understand corporate america, if someone resigns they have a two week notice. In those two weeks you can easily take away confidential information which is proprietary of the firm. Then, why do they behave so brutally when they have to fire you/lay you off, coz it really doesnt matter, if you are working for a firm you are privy to confidential stuff and you dont have to wait until you know you are getting fired to do so. and im not sure about other places but the protocol in banking is the pits you immediately have to go and speak to the HR person who is waiting for you grimly in some conference room, once you are told your severence pay etc you have to leave immediately take your few belongings and go. then the next few days, an assistant will pack up your stuff in a moving box and i really dont know what happens to all the stuff that one accumulates folders, papers etc. In fact you dont even get time to sort through your research. thats another thing that you arent thinking of research when you are geting laid off. and then thats it you turn in your badge and leave. by the end of the week, theres no trace of you having been there and after two weeks no one even remembers you existed. its a highly embarassing and sad moment. and for the past week, im really not feeling good from within. rumor has it that there will be another cut in jan, rumor also was that a bigger list was prepared to cut but at the last moment some pple got saved, rumor also is if the strategy goes everyone goes with it. the entire group. i just hope its all a rumor, although deep down i know theres no smoke when theres no fire.
im just hoping for the best. fingers double..triple..infinity crossed.
Monday, December 01, 2008
I
I am against terrorist attacks
I am against cruelty of any form - be it cruelty to mumbaikars, kashmiri pandits, kashmiri muslims, palestinians, israelis, iraqis. i condemn it.
I am against any religion changed to suit your own purpose
I am against nuclear warfarre, time, money, energy, resources spent making weapons to kill each other. I am against war.
I am against dirty politics - politicians who dont care that all you really want is to live a good life
I am against people who force their beliefs on you.
I am against the trend of becoming immune to violence and people saying "yeh to chal tei rei ta hai" - that is not ok.
I am against things that go opposite to your logic, your kindness.
I am not going to be played by politicians, religious facists who promote their own agenda.
I am not going to lose faith in people. Thanks to nameless employees/people/NSG/police at the hotels who put themselves in the line of fire.
I am for education.
I am against poverty.
I am for democracy.
I am muslim
I am indian
I am human
Thursday, November 27, 2008
mumbai burns - 26th nov 2008
the worst terror attack on mumbai. my mom was supposed to travel to mumbai yesterday - just few hours after the attack. and despite the fact that my mom has the true mumbaikar spirit, and has seen sad situations like these, she too was astounded by this. we convinced her not to go and now we can breathe easy. i am grateful that my loved ones are okay, but i still fear. i fear for the people who are still trapped in these places. i fear for the people who don't know and are worried sick about their loved ones, who actually may be dead. i fear for the employees of the Taj/Oberoi, chefs trainees massacred in top hotels in mumbai. I fear for the family trapped in the Nariman House. I fear for people in the army, NSG, navy who have to protect the homeland, selflessly without even thinking about their own life. I fear for the after effects of this tragedy on Mumbai. I fear for much of the media's stupidity in giving away too much information. i fear that even after this over, people will be scared and will be conquered by fear. i fear that this will be associated more with islam. i fear that i feel ashamed that these are people who call themselves muslims, where they have no right to do so - violence has no religion, violence is not even human. i fear that the day will never come where i won't ever have to think after a blast, that i really hope it was not some islamic group. an eye for an eye makes everyone blind.
my thoughts and prayers with all whose lives, loved ones lives have been lost.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
yay!
so i finally did it. i finally asked my manager for leave. yes leave, in this uncertain time. im guessing that after a certain bank announced they were capping certain base salaries. and we all know what that means. that means, the lowest salaries in the banking food chain will be capped. yes so the next news, the next news will probably be capping the holidays leave. (my prophecy) anyway before any of this happens ive decided to cash in my holidays. starting from christmas. and so im off to visting my eldest sibling in the UK, perhaps, MAYBE, go to glasgow (i really do want to go to Scotland- it is so pretty from the pictures) and then off to my half-yearly yatra to Dubai.
just one word - yay!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
so today i was watching this segment on bloomberg tv. its getting super depressing to watch financial news, there is no good thing - in fact i was watching something yesterday and the reporters are like thats one good thing in the gloom and doom what is so sad that I cant remember what that one thing was.
anyway so I was watching the big 3 automakers making their case to Congress. Basically, on why the government should bail them out as well and preferably with no controls. So just give us pocketmoney and dont babysit us. Just to recap, the govt has bailed out financials, perhaps auto(?) the billion dollar question is who is next?
And whats weird to me is that how these numbers dont mean anything anymore. There was a time when 100 dirhams (conversion 25 USD) was a substantial amount. It lasted me lets say 50 lunches. well over 2 months, just counting business days/school days. Now its the talk of billions, earlier people thought they were successful when they made their first million, now that holds no value. alrite, too harsh, lets just say in the times of crorepatis, lakhpati hona koi bari baat nahin hai.
so back to the auto story, its actually not far from reality tv. Lack of bad memory, cant remember names, there was this one lawmaker who fired a direct question at the chief of GM. When will you go bankrupt. The chief hummed and erred and it was so embarassing he didnt know. I mean isnt that the most obvious question, if everyone pulls out everyone wants their money right now right this moment, what will you be left with. Isnt that an obvious stress test? Isnt that what you SHOULD know when you go to ask the government for money. Next bullet was okay how much money do you need to last you till 1st Quarter of 2009. More errr'ss....more ..stalling couldn't answer it. I am shocked I dont know how you can be the chief of this organization and not know these details. How? How can you take the utmost leadership role when you dont know (im presuming its dont know rather than dont care.) it astounds me. in their defense though, it did seem they did a lot of changes and the auto industry is not as easily mobile in terms of completely changing the infrastructure and that being said you cannot compete with cheap rents, cheap labour in outside countries.
anyway, if this were a game of chess, the next lawmaker had the ultimate check mate move.
(ok i dont play chess im just using this for dramatics) but whatever, he starts of with its the irony that you all (as in chiefs of GM, Chrysler and Ford) came in your private jets with a tin cup in your hand. Shouldnt you have jetpooled or flown first class? That is the biggest burn ever. How can they be so stupid seriously, how can you have all these selfish karchas, when you are literally saying you will be firing thousands of workers. these things will get noticed, media is watching your every single move. Now's not the time to show off. Its just beyond shocking to me. Seriously, for me first class will do I dont need a personal jet - I am not the president. I dont understand why these corporate guys need personal jets. All of these guys need a good lecture on money management from our own beloved desi cheapo ceo Azeem Premji.
My only wish for today is something miraculous happens and nobody has to lose their jobs.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
"these precious illusions in my head, did not let me down when i was a kid. and parting with them is like parting with a childhood bestfriend" - Alanis Morisette
so i have been studying a lot at starbucks lately and most of the people who do visit that starbucks are medical students, doctors, interns and they usually are armed with a yellow highlighter, and ipod and some fat medical book. my surroundings make me think. my question today is would you donate your organs, once you are dead, for science? in undergrad, in my first year i decided that i would, and this wasnt a conscious decision or a well thought out decision, nor did i think of it as a religious decision. it was more of a i was asked and was given facts on how many people die because they cant find a suitable donor and so i decided there and then i would. the facts were about people who did not live longer but people who should have lived longer. and i kept that paper in my wallet, for the next three and half years, during my undergrad that if i did die i would give my organs up for donation. all of them.
and then i moved back to dubai and i misplaced my wallet and that paper. i dont remember who, but a long time ago i had this discussion with another muslim on how when we are resurrected on the day of judgement we should have all our organs intact. so in ohter words we should not donate our organs.
in all honesty, i didnt really pay much attention to it until recently and decided i would do some more research on it and in fact contrary to what others think and contrary to my ignorance, organ donation is permissible provided it is done according to Shariah rule. The rules are pretty straightforward and commensensical(!), the donor should be in his whole hosh aur awaz, over 21, the organ donated should not be a vital organ for which his/her life is dependant on, it should be done to save someone's life but not at the cost of your own, this should not be a monetary transaction and you should not profit from the sale of your organ, sexual organs may not be transplanted, and most importanly it should be done of your own free will. so in other words its ok to do so under certain conditions.
its quite dangerous this problem of hearsay, we hear things from others and we deem them the truth. but in fact its quite far from it. never believe everything you hear. some things should be read up by yourself and trust your instincts some things make sense you have been given this gift of common sense to judge what is right and what is wrong. sometimes, we forget to use it.
that being said, i think it is much easier on an individual to make this choice without consulting anyone, since once you are gone you are gone. thats it. you arent coming back to earth. and i do think its the right thing to do.
but when it is your loved one being sliced open yes even for a good deed, even for another person's life, for science, i dont know if i can be fully on board with it. the people left behind who know you and love you have to see through it. and it never is about you and only you anymore. so how easy is it to allow them to make that decision. i honestly dont know.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
well anyway, my boss was super generous and my mom is now convincing me that she has to forward my "glowing" review to all her friends, who show off about their kids. this is like giving her an edge. she already has an edge, all of us girls are educated and my eldest sibling is an excellent gynaecologist and will one day be super famous too. i dont think so, i know so. she is the first kid in our whole lineage to actually do something that big. so anyway back to my story, again rewind - i kind of pointed out to my mom that umm so..what.. you are comparing me to a 13 year old eton college goer...and so my answer to the forwarding my review is.. how about a no?
anyway my boss really was great and he gave me a kind and awesome review like he probably will for everyone else because he is so awesome (more gushing). mashallah to that. and i really didnt expect such nice remarks. after the review, i didnt really grovel and maybe i should have. maybe i should have said thank you so much for this review. but i suck at compliment taking and i suck at compliment giving as well -sometimes. and sometimes i just think a nod is sufficient and sometimes you just dont have to say everything, right? that being said that doesn't mean i dont love it. both the compliment giving or taking. it makes you feel good. but i just suck at it.
so colleagues asked me did you have your review,and since it was kind of secretive type thing i was like err...yea and then they were like ooh sneaky (isnt a perf review the years most certain event never mind everything else? how is that remotely sneaky?) and of course they wanted to know my scores. and so i had my stick up for myself but make myself look stupid moment, where i go im not really comf discussing this. at first they were zapped that i said that and then they smirked, yes smirked, and one of them is like you are making this so formal. and im thinking hell yea - formal is what you should be if you are at work. but of course i dont say that and am thinking of some smart but not mean comeback and he goes on and on about how we are blah blah blah then just robots . and im actually not listening to him coz im thinking of the smart-but-not-mean comeback and then just catch on the last part of the robot and im like did you just call me a robot? and then the other colleague chimes in and goes i think he just did. and then he goes on this whole spiel of how im one of those kids who never told anyone their scores in college. i didnt. never asked anyone their scores in college. yup, i didnt. and then i chime in - or their salaries. sorry again, i didnt. im sorry, im just not that nosy. well i am a little nosy but not THAT nosy. oh wait i am, i need a new phrase. yes, im selectively nosy. some things are just sacred. i truly believe you compete with yourself. of course i would like to know if im at bottom of the heap or whatever but I dont particularly care what YOU got whether you got a A+, C+, D+ or a F. i care if I got a F and if I did how do I get to a A. so anyway i end up looking like a smart ass now . my other sibling who is so much more adept at handling confusing situations said i should have resorted to exaggeration and been like I got top rating in everything. whcih is unattainable. so they say. so they kind of would know that i dont want to tell them, but it would still be this whole kidding kind of atmosphere. But no I have to go with the uncomfortable-make-this-awkward thing. which is very loserish really and so not wing man team member persona and that is sad coz I do think I am a team member in fact I would really like it if our team did super well. so it ended with one of my colleagues calling me im 'trying' to be mysterious. Ok, whatever
wish i could be more witty, all witty statements come to me five mins after. that is my edge.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Im lost but Im hopeful. Coz I have got one hand in my pocket and the other ones giving out high fives. - Hand in my pocket
so this is going to be one of those market sucks, everyone is predicting the next acolapyse post. so a lot of stuff has been happening at the office. first it started off with the group downstairs, where my friend works, and now shes gone all omigod im moving to toronto and looking for jobs there, which is really freaking me out. since a lot of my criteria to choosing and sticking to jobs is actually nothing very ambitious (yes im saying it im pathetic) and its really a small and pretty pathetic (yes repeating) list consisting of three things a. my boss b.the josh to do something different in life (thats kind of waning though - but im actually keeping this second on the list for retaining self esteem) c. my friend who happens to be my partner in crime (not any mortgage kind of crime in case anyone is thinking this) and i mean this as the highest compliment she is my diary that talks back to me, especially when i want to let off steam when im at work. and i am the same to her too. so anyway, im not that supportive of her move to canada when the going gets tough. so anyway ive been jitttery and have been like aloof to the crashing and burning around me. and apparently thats a bad thing. ure supposed to be buzzing and being like whats happening, whats happening, are we drowning for people to think that YOU care. and panicking rather than being the violin players on the sinking titanic, or the engineers trying to repair the boat. so in more plain terms not actually spending all your time actually working hard. thats not the way to show u care. apparently.
so goldman came up with bad news today then there was citi and now since the past two days at work we have been having the closed door hushed silences, no one looking at you straight in the eye, pple huddling near the coffee matchine (oh wait that was me just trying to figure out how the hot water works ) etc. so basically im officially flustered.
not to mention that for some SOME reason pple think that the end of year bonus isnt important to me. yes very tacky to say that it is. but in finance there is a linear relationship between ambition and year end bonus and they are interchangeable. so if u dont care about getting a fat paycheck, you probably wont get it. consequently it will be asserted that you are not deserving of it. nobody here is working Allah wastey. and ironically thats nothing to be ashamed for. its more shameful if you are. sad but true.
so together with this notion, my boss asking me so what would you do if you were fired? i think i had one of those cartoonic eyes popping out my of skull moments. looking at my near heart attack face, he starts laughing and is like you dont haveto worry and is like id like to take a break for a year and read the papers and smoke my cigars. something of that effect. hellooooo randomn. you cant just drop a bomb and be like 'just kidding'. i so so so so hope he is kidding.
anyway just between me and i guess the minute list of pple who actually read this blog and of course for the true audience of this blog, the me five years later and my fictitious children. if i did get fired, my ideal ideal thing would be do the four most cliched things ever - travel the world. become a travel documentarist. open a restaurant and make a movie. should i be worried that all of the professions are highly uncorrelated to finance.